I told you a couple weeks ago that I am a very logical person. I believe absolutely zero percent in the ideas of fate, karma, a God that has any effect on my life, or hope in something that’s outside of myself - because I cannot prove any of them correct. I cannot prove to you or even to me that any of these things are acting in my life, and I don’t believe others that insist they are.

I’m just not a person that believes in faith, or hope. I do all I can and then the chips fall where they fall (the laws of chance). I do everything I can to skew the results so the result goes my way - the way I want it to go. If I haven’t put the time in to skew the result in my favor then I don’t hope that it happens, I just watch and see what happens. The laws of chance say that sometimes it will happen in my favor - so that’s a good thing.

To wish, hope or pray for something to happen is beyond me. I believe that I’m ineffectual at changing something that I cannot directly affect in a logical way. Prayers, good thoughts, good deeds, and the rest of are things that I don’t bother with as I’ve not seen them have any effect beyond the laws of probability and chance, so what is the point. I live my life without faith in anything but what I can do.

That said, I’ve been agonizing over this decision about leaving Thailand. I’ve been here just over 2.5 years now. I have come to LOVE the country, it’s people, the culture, the spontaneity foreigners living here can enjoy because of the cheap cost of living and the ease of changing jobs almost at will.

But, I feel like I need to return to Hawaii to catch up on all I’ve missed out on. I feel like my skills as an Internet Marketing Consultant are slipping a bit since I’m not involved in the same kinds of projects and surrounded by the same types of people as I was back in the USA.

I have obligations I’ve totally neglected, being cozily tucked away in Southeast Asia and stressing out about life as little as possible, and far less than I ever dreamed I could.

So, I created the Meta Decision Table, and the result that is supposed to show me a definitive answer, came up with an almost exact tie. When the values are close after going through the Meta Decision Tables it can be a very hard decision indeed.

So, that’s what I was facing.

I decided to do something I’ve never done in my life - flip a coin to decide something. Yep, it is totally illogical and completely based on the laws of chance, but in this case I decided to attribute whatever result happened as a result that was influenced by karma or fate or something else outside of statistics.

The flip revealed to me that I’m staying in Thailand. I accepted that for a couple weeks and then, over these weeks there have been more reasons surfacing for returning to the states and Hawaii. I was walking the beach today…

I found a playing card lying on the sand. That is not too out of the ordinary as I’ve seen many things on deserted beaches since the Tsunami of 2004. The card’s face was down and I couldn’t see what card it was. I thought…. hmm, should I try this again?

After all, fate is the way things are supposed to be, right? If it was fate that I flip that coin and get the result to stay in Thailand, then it would be fate that showed me this card laying face down in the sand. It woud be fate if I decided to turn over this card and have the result tell me AGAIN, what to do… yes?

I don’t really know how this fate, stuff works - as I said, I haven’t used it in my life and I usually ignore conversations about it as utter nonsense so I’m clue-less when it comes to this.

I decided that if the card was a BLACK card I would go back to Hawaii. RED and I would stay in Thailand where my heart is.

I hesitated a few seconds - 20 or so… Just holding the card and wondering - do I want to do this again? I took a photo of the card before I turned it over.
I turned the card over and guess what?

What does THAT MEAN?

The saltwater, sun, and whatever else had reacted with the dye of the card to erase all traces of color. The card had no black nor did it have red. However, there WAS the very faint outline in another shade of white that revealed that the card was actually a 6 of hearts. A red card,
without the red.

I have no idea what kind of answer that was to my question. I think it means, don’t rely on fate or something outside yourself anymore!

See what I mean - you CANNOT rely on something outside of yourself.

Take as much action as you can to influence the way a situation or a decision goes, make a decision if you need to. If you wrap yourself up in the hope that there’s some universal entity or path for your life you’re just wasting your time and giving emotional energy to something that shouldn’t get it. Save your emotional energy for loving your spouse, children, friends and self. Don’t give it away to the heavens…

Best of Life!

I was eating today and realized that now would be a good time to do what I’ve thought about doing over the last couple years here in Thailand.

If all goes as planned over the next day or so I’ll climb about 1237 steep steps leading to a Chedi and Buddha on the top of a mountain at a Buddhist temple close to where I am here in Thailand. I’ll meditate there for a couple/few days to see if all the levels of jhana return and if they do - to what degree - and see if it’s an experience that’s worth doing anymore.

I sat on the floor of the shower on a folded up towel two nights ago and meditated like I used to roughly 10 years ago. The peace and tranquility came quickly and I was in that state hovering around jhana… and some water poured out of the shower nozzle above me and to the left and when it hit the floor and bounced it splashed my folded left leg and arm.

When the water touched the body there was no feeling that the body was “me” or what the me usually thinks of as “me”. Sometimes it’s a dog’s bark that sends me into jhana quickly, other times a mosquito bite… Usually jhana just comes when it comes. The water splashing the body brought jhana and it was a nice half-hour meditation with jhana present and the feeling of “no body, no mind, no Vern”.

I’ve sat like this off and on over the past 10 years - maybe 20 times? Jhana usually comes easily, within minutes and stays as long as the body sits there, sometimes lasting for a while after I’m up and moving about too.

I came to Thailand to find out what the experiences were that came to me during meditation. The experiences were so radically different from anything my “regular” conscious had ever seen. When the experiences started to happen all throughout the day whether I was sitting down to meditate or not - it was quite overwhelming.

The ego was dissolving and it was happening very fast. I had to make a choice to either continue and go the distance so to speak… or, to stop and not meditate again in the hopes that the process would stop too.

I stopped meditating and the process gradually, over years, slowed down to the point it’s at now. I feel the process come over me maybe once per month or a couple times, that’s all. Contrast that with every few minutes or hours when I first decided to stop and it’s quite an improvement.

You might wonder, why would someone run away from what Buddhists call Nirvana? What is there to be afraid of?

Well for me - there was nobody telling me what was going on exactly. I had asked a few monks at temples in Florida where I was when all this happened and they didn’t really understand English as well as what I needed. They couldn’t give me the answers I needed to hear, most of all - was this a safe thing to do without guidance? I mean, there was a very distinct possibility that I was losing my mind, not just my ego!

To me - having “Vern” go away with the possibility never to return was a scary thought. Not that “Vern” was such a great thing, but I was totally unsure of what would come next. I didn’t know WHAT Nirvana was. I STILL don’t understand what it is. I have a hard time believing that Jiddu Krishnamurti, Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh and others were enlightened. I think not in fact. I am not sure the Buddha was enlightened because I’ve not met him.

I’ve not met anyone I consider enlightened at ALL with the possible exception of the Abbot at Wat Pah Nanachat, a Temple in Warin Chamrap near the city of Ubon Ratchathani in Thailand’s Northeast. It was with him that I related the meditative experiences of the past and it was he who said, “it sounds like jhana…” His face was beaming - his whole countenance was beaming when he told me that jhana is what all the monks at the temple are hoping to enter.

He told me that I was welcome to stay at the Wat and continue the process for as long as I wished…

I stayed overnight there. It was a full-moon weekend and there were many people that came from outlying villages and cities to spend the night at Wat Pah chanting and meditating. Every full moon they have this type of thing.

It was during some chanting in one of the halls that it hit me again why I didn’t seek out Buddhism first before starting my meditation practice.

BuddhISM is just like every other ISM. There is so much extra added to the religous experience - to the eternal… that it doesn’t feel “right” to me anymore. Me chanting words that I couldn’t understand wasn’t bringing me any closer to a mind free of thought and reaction. It was an “extra” that man had created that helps the religion and those associated with it - to feel better about themselves and their group. It fosters a group cohesiveness type feeling that I don’t really believe in, nor have the need for.

When I meditated I sought out the very basics and I skipped over as much of the ISM associated with it as possible. To this day I don’t know the proper terms Thai Buddhists call “mindfulness” or “Vipassana”. I don’t know because I don’t care.

I care about the experience of the Buddha - what did he DO? The HOW is interesting to me - as I can use that as a base, but I don’t believe for one second that I need to follow EXACTLY everything he did to get where he supposedly got. I am open to the idea that he may have found “one” way to get there. But likely NOT the only way.

There are many other experiences I’ve read about since stopping meditation that sound similar to the state that Vipassana helped me find. I don’t believe that Vipassana offers the only tools to reach the state and start the process.

So anyway, I left Wat Pah Nanachat after spending just one night. I skipped the walking around town in the morning to collect food and walked about 6km until someone picked me up and asked if I wanted a ride into Ubon Ratchathani.

If you’re interested in meditation without all the fluff - I’ve created a 22-day meditation without religion course in Adobe PDF format as a free download in the “Pages” section on this Aim for Awesome site. Download it and have a look. Let me know what you think with a comment or at my email address on the “Contact” page.

Tomorrow I will head up the mountain about 10 am my time and see how it goes. I may be asked to leave at sunset, though I think that it’s such a long climb that the monks don’t go up there daily. If they did find me sitting there, would they ask me to leave? Not sure. If they ask me while I’m deep in Jhana would I hear them?

I’ll take enough food and water up and bring the phone so I can talk into the voice recorder about anything that occurs worth talking about.

OK, I will update you when I return, I’m thinking it will be 2 or 3 days, but I can see me going for a week or so if I take a trip down the mountain for food and then go back up.

You know something that just came to mind… I think the phone works up there on the mountain, as I’ve been there before and I think I remember that. If that’s true, I could take photos and send them to a blogger-blog or send videos to YouTube if the site has been unblocked in Thailand (Youtube has been blocked for months now over a disrespectful video of Thailand’s King). I just checked Youtube and still blocked.

Maybe I’ll delay the trip until the following day if I can get some form of daily blogging going, even if it’s only a brief text comment written from the phone to this blog. I’ll work on it and post again here before I go.

Best of Life!

“Stopping Cigarette Smoking - You don’t really want to stop, or, you’d do this…”

I’ve never had to put any effort into stopping cigarette smoking. I’ve never smoked. When I was about 10 I tried half an inhale and that was enough for me. My parents smoked for a while as I was growing up and it sucked so bad to breath that in all the time that I just never had the urge.

If I was going to tackle stopping smoking this is how I’d go about it.

I’m going to give you 3 ways to stop cigarette smoking that will work. There’s no telling how long the technique will cure you for, but it will last for weeks almost definitely. Months and years? Yes, quite possibly.

If I could give you three ways to stop smoking and each of these three ways could be completed in less than 2 hours, would you choose to do one of them?

I think that smokers generally don’t really WANT to quit. If I want to do something - I find a way to do it. If I want to stop something I find a way to stop it. If I want others to think better of me and not change my behavior then I talk about what I’m going to do or I half-heartedly attempt something to change the behavior and fall right back into it. That’s being human.

I don’t LISTEN to people that tell me they want to stop. I give them 3 ways to stop and watch their ACTION. Action tells it all. If they want to quit, they’ll quit after doing what I just told them.

I don’t believe that smokers want to quit and that fat people want to get thin. I just don’t BELIEVE it because we are too smart to not understand that something drastic needs to be done if the usual lame attempts are failing.

Supposedly smoking is a strong addiction. I haven’t experienced it but some experts have said that it’s the habit that’s hardest to break. Ask me if cigarettes smell good. Ask someone who smokes. Ask them if they really love the smell and taste. Some do, most don’t. So why do they do it? Too many reasons to go into here. Let’s just concern ourselves with STOPPING smoking in one swift movement.

Below are 3 methods that should work quite well, knowing what I do about psychology and aversive therapy. The trick is to actually DO IT. Complete one of the following techniques and “Presto!” no more smoking for a while. Perhaps forever. You may need to repeat the technique, choose another one or create one of your own that is an even more potent negative experience.

Disclaimer: The following techniques are not doctor recommended, approved, or even suggested. These techniques are an attempt to use “Aversive Conditioning” a highly controversial psychological technique to quell your smoking urge for a period of time, possibly forever. It is NOT recommended that you follow any one of these techniques. But, if you do and you have success, please write in and tell us in the comments section.

Stop Smoking Instant Success Technique 1

Buy yourself 10 packs of cigarettes. Drink some strong coffee without milk or sweetener of any sort. Drink it slowly and swish it around in your mouth as you drink it. The point of this is that you will dry out your mouth after you’re finished. There won’t be much saliva left for what you’re going to do next.

Open all the packs of cigarettes and pull out 60 or 70 of them. I’m not sure how many you’ll need but I seem to recall that the world record for smoking as many cigarettes as possible at once was 100+. If you have a really big mouth you might actually pull-off a Ripley’s World Record using this technique.

Start by grabbing the cigarettes with your hand and molding them into a circle of sorts. I’m thinking you’ll need at least 40 to fill every space in your wide opened mouth.

Put as many cigarettes into your mouth as you can possibly hold. The goal is to smoke them all at the same time. Whatever you do, don’t cough or sneeze as you want this to be a one time deal. You don’t really want to repeat this, do you?

Smoke them down to the filter, and beyond. The key to this technique is that you really experience the full sensation of smoking. If you’ve smoked for years and are still smoking just one at a time you’re cheating yourself. You MUST have worked yourself up to a couple at a time by now - yes? You MUST have. One cigarette isn’t doing it for you anymore, and so you should experience what 40 can do for you. Should be the best experience, yes?

Try your damnedest to smoke down to beyond the filter and you’ll have a more successful stop smoking experience.

Total Cash Invested: $15-30
Total Time Invested: 30 minutes
Effectiveness Estimate: 9/10

Stop Smoking Instant Success Technique 2

Buy 4 packs of cigarettes. Sit in your vehicle with the windows rolled up (assuming you don’t have a motorcycle). If you have a motorcycle go into your home and find the smallest closet, empty it out and sit on the floor.

Start chain smoking.

Do not stop until one of the following things occurs:

1.) You get so dizzy that you throw up. Continue smoking after this happens AT LEAST three more full cigarettes.

2.) You get so nauscious that you can’t see straight, the car is spinning and you pass out. You might want to open the door before you pass out as there IS a limited supply of oxygen in a vehicle with the doors and windows closed if there are no vents open.

3.) You run out of cigarettes. Go back to the store and buy 5 more packs and climb back in the car and start again.

Total Cash Invested: $15-30
Total Time Invested: 30 minutes
Effectiveness Estimate: 10/10

Stop Smoking Instant Success Technique 3

For this one you’ll have to be a little bit creative. You’ll need to pair your smoking with something that is absolutely disgusting to you and the most repulsive thing you can think of.

When I was in Thailand it was easy as I could find waterbugs, silkworm larvae, hairy spiders, scorpions, huge Chinese cockroaches, or other repulsive things. In the states I’d have to find one of the few things that I find utterly repulsive to eat. I think raw liver, and raw eel are two “foods” that have the power to make me projectile vomit if they get within inches of my mouth. Either of those two would work.

So, you find something to eat that will make you so sick to your stomach that you get violently ill. Your mind will be ill too because you are forcing yourself to eat something that previously you’ve maybe never eaten. Most of the problem is in your mind about what you think you can and can’t eat anyway. That’s good because it’s your mind that we want to affect to kill the smoking habit.

If you can’t find just one ingredient that would make you sick, you should combine two or more ingredients that don’t go well together. My brother used to make sandwiches and videotape himself making and eating them. He would put together a sandwich with mustard, mayonnaisse, chocolate syrup, ketchup, pickles, jelly, peanut butter, sauerkraut, and anything else he could find in the fridge and cupboards. It made me almost get sick watching him do it. There must be many things that, when combined, have the power to make you sick. Try raw eel with a vinegar and raw egg mixture. That might work? Would work for me.

So - start by smoking 15 or so cigarettes. Chain smoking them. Then, you’ll want to alternate bites of your favorite food with sucks on your cigarette. You MUST eat something for each inhalation. Continue this until you become so violently ill that you cannot continue. If you do NOT get violently ill then you need to find some food stuff that does the trick.

Total Cash Invested: $15-40
Total Time Invested: 90 minutes
Effectiveness Estimate: 9/10

Stopping smoking for a couple weeks, months or years? Priceless.

These three ways should work miracles of success with most individuals. If you want to make doubly sure or triply sure that it works, like if you’re really s-e-r-i-o-u-s about stopping smoking you can do the following…

After you initially become sick - there will be some point where you will start feeling better. At that time you need to smoke more. Start chain smoking in a confined area and do not stop until you again become violently ill.

For some people getting violently ill works wonders after just one instance. I remember getting drunk on Tequila in Hawaii at a party while we were camping on the beach at Bellow Air Force Station on the windward side of Oahu in 1986. I didn’t take another drink of Tequila for 12 years after that. I had no interest in it whatsoever. That is the power that getting sick just ONCE has over most people when the experience is especially negative.

If you start to feel better after your initial sickness and can see that there might be a point in the near future where you could continue smoking then you owe it to yourself to continue the process of getting violently ill by smoking cigarette after cigarette. Maybe it will take you twice or even three times. Not sure.

I’m not a doctor either - so if you try this you try it on your own accord and please don’t drag my name into it. You SHOULD be OK doing this. Some may have long-term effects. Someone might even die from this. Be smart about it and don’t do something beyond the bounds of common sense.

I think if you really want to stop smoking - and it’s a serious issue for you, you need to do something drastic to change. Do you need to do something THIS drastic? Up to you!

If you try any of these,
let us know if you find success!

Best of Life!

Disclaimer!
The author of this blog is not a medical doctor, nor is he privy to any special knowledge about psychology or stopping smoking techniques that would make him an expert that could recommend to you what methods would work specifically to enable you to safely stop smoking. If you have a serious addiction like smoking that you wish to resolve, you should research extensively the possibility of using some extreme technique like one of those mentioned here or find another that smokers have used safely and successfully to rid themselves of the habit.

Persons with heart conditions or other conditions that are affected by the chemicals in cigarettes may experience profoundly negative effects as a result of following the techniques listed here.

Nobody is telling you that you SHOULD use one of these techniques, only presenting them here for your review and consideration. Your choices are your choices. We tried in no way to influence you. ;P

I taught English in Thailand to high school and lower grade students for a couple years.

It was such an incredible experience to see how people in a different culture live. I’ve heard it said that Thailand is about 30 years behind the USA in different areas of technology and basic living. But you know what? My estimate, when looking at their culture and the respect they have for each other as human beings… is that they are a few light years ahead of the USA.

The root of the respect they have for each other - friends and strangers alike - comes primarily from Buddhism. On average I would say that the children of Thailand are MUCH less selfish, less self-centered, more friend-focused, friendlier, laugh more, joke more, have fun more, have less attitude, and are far less proud than children in the United States.

This past year I taught Mathyom 3 level, which is equivalent to 9th grade in the USA. The kids were 14-15 years old. I taught at a well-known government school in their English program. The program cost each child’s family 30,000 Thai baht for each semester. So, 60,000 per year plus various small expenses during the school year. 60,000 Thai baht these days is worth about $2000 USD. The average wage for a worker in Thailand is around 4,000 Thai baht per month ($132 USD). So, the kids’ at my school were at a high socio-economic level in Thai society. As a result some of the kids had attitudes, but out of 93 students that I taught I would say I saw only about 5 act in a way that suggested they were proud, stuck up, or as Thais’ like to say, “High So” for “high society”.

The boy I want to tell you about in this Aim for Awesome blog post is a boy named “Gla”. Pronounced just like it looks. Nothing fancy in his name. The boy was in the English Program in Mathyom 3 level and was in the second class of 28 students. Gla was a tall Thai boy, about 5′11″. I’d say that the average Thai male in Thailand is somewhere around 5′7″. So, Gla had his height going for him. Boys that are taller seem to get more respect in Thailand, perhaps as they do in the USA.

Gla was consistently chatted about by the girls in his same peer age-group as well as those in other grade levels. He was considered a very good looking boy and all the girls liked to joke that they were dating him. In reality, Gla had just one girlfriend that had left our English program midway through because her family sent her to Singapore to learn English at a special program there. Gla was really sad for months after “Pew” (yes, pronounced like a bad smell, but she was really a breath of fresh air!) left. His whole demeanor changed in class actually, he was definitely heart broken. Even 6 months after she left and I asked the students whether Gla had another girl yet, they said that he was heartbroken and waiting for Pew to return to Thailand.

Gla’s family was rich beyond even regular rich Thai standards. His family owned a mall, and a string of truck dealerships in our town of 100,000+ population. In Thailand the way to get the most respect is to have money. Gla’s family had it, so Gla had it (respect that is). You could see it in the way that the students in his level treated him and even the way the teachers spoke of him.

In my math class Gla was not always paying attention as a result of having his best friend sitting next to him who was the class clown, not just the class - the whole Mathyom 3 clown! So, when Gla gave it some effort he was able to do OK on the exams and actually learned some things about math. Math was not his strong point, but since I only taught him for one year I wasn’t sure how much of his disinterest and mediocrity with his grades were due to Pew, lack of trying, interruption by his friend, or just a lack of ability in math. No matter, he was a VERY respectful student that was shy, quiet, and never said a harsh word - anywhere. Not in the class, not on the field. I never saw him say a negative word to anyone, not even in jest.

Gla had a couple hobbies. Musically he was very talented with the guitar. He played the electric and acoustic guitars with a skill that I’ve not seen someone of the same age possess. I appreciate good music, especially guitar, and he was nearly a master at 15 years old. He played Thai love ballads, rock (Caribou, Potato, Clash), and really hard core punk rock. He and his friends frequently gave concerts at the school and around town. Not only did he play, but he SANG too. The girls screamed loudest when Gla sang or had a guitar solo, there was no contest. It was as if the Beatles were playing everywhere Gla’s band played.

Gla’s other choice way to spend time was playing football. That’s “soccer” for us in the USA. I played soccer for 13 years when I was younger and on and off as the years went by. When I was a senior in high school my team won the championship for the state of Pennsylvania. I know good soccer when I see it. Gla was talented playing soccer the way Beckham must have been when he was 14. Gla had moves that I had not yet even seen on a soccer field. He was fluid like water on the field, changing speed, flow, direction and intent seconds ahead of his opponents. I couldn’t even guess what he would do next, it was impossible to defend him as he was like Wayne Gretzky on the soccer field. He effortlessly flowed between defenders only to pass the ball at the last second to let a teammate score the point.

When he wanted to score a goal or when there was nobody else to pass to, he scored at will. I once saw him score 6 goals in about 12 minutes.

You know what the coolest thing was about Gla was, and the reason I decided to tell you all about this incredibly skilled, talented, and “has the world by the bollocks” young Thai guy?

He would score goals on the soccer field that were just brilliant and that I couldn’t help get worked up over just watching from the sidelines. I never watch sports on TV and I rarely watch someone else playing sports, it’s just not exciting to me. I NEVER get worked up over watching any sports. However, when Gla scored some of the goals that he did I couldn’t help but yell something out.

Gla was so humble he’d just walk back to the circle with his head down slightly while getting congratulated by teammates, people would be shouting things from the sidelines - CONGRATS! Nice GOAL! AWESOME MOVE GLA! It was like the world couldn’t help but react to his skill, his unbelievable skills… But he didn’t react. He said thanks, shook hands, smiled slightly and looked down. He was almost embarrassed by the congratulations he was getting. He was so shy and probably didn’t want to hear any congrats at all. He just liked playing soccer.

I never saw him smile at his own self-gratification. It was just beyond him.

I could never even get him to give up even a sheepish smile over his talent on the soccer field. In the classroom I would sometimes joke that I saw him (again) score such and such number of goals and not really react at all with any joy.

He took it all in stride and yet wasn’t proud in the slightest way over it. His parents had raised a Thai boy that was virtually ego-less, like a good Buddhist boy should be, despite having EVERYTHING any Thai kid would want. He was going to be wildly successful with whatever he did with his life. Math class didn’t matter, what mattered was that he had everything he needed already to make it in Thai society. Gla had looks, money, a humble personality that was never frazzled, he was a guitar virtuoso and a soccer prodigy.

It was really refreshing to see a boy like that in Thailand. I don’t remember ever meeting someone like that in America. In America, people know what they have. If they are profoundly skilled, rich, good looking or have other attributes that make them special they usually waste no time letting you know that they know. Our pride in America is so visible.

A humble person in the USA is a very hard person to find at all.

There’s something so nice about humbleness.

Something incredibly nice about interacting with a person that is humble from the depth of his or her character, not as a way to be politically correct in society.

Best of Life!

Do you know anybody humble like this? Your brother? Your father? Your student? Your co-worker?

What do you think fosters the development of the trait? Or, do you think it’s genetic?