I thought I’d throw you 8 somewhat random info chunks about Vern that you probably didn’t know…

8. I drove in the Presidential motorcade in Hawaii on H-1 freeway! Yes, I was in charge of Hickam Air Force Base’s Details program and I volunteered for that detail myself. I drove Ronald and Nancy Reagans’ personal secretaries and 2 other members of the staff in a limousine from Hickam AFB and to their hotel in Waikiki. I also drove various dignitaries to places around Honolulu as needed.

7. One time when I was 13 I was hunting deer in the deep woods in Pennsylvania with two uncles that left me in one spot from 4:30 am. until after 6 pm. I had some crackers and a handwarmer that you light to keep warm that lasted for 15 minutes. The temperature was 18 degrees F and the wind was blowing pretty much all day. I have an intense dislike of even moderately cold temperatures to this day. GO FIGURE! Ha!

6. One time my friend and I caught a poisonous baby copperhead snake and brought it to my house where we promptly lost it in the tall grass.

5. My favorite foods in the world are many… Best of the best?

Italian bread - dry or with butter; Pizza; Tom Yum Pla-Meuk (Spicy Sour Thai soup with squid); Thick Pretzel rods from a factory in Pittsburgh; Ahi Poke with Shoyu (Raw chunks of Tuna with raw Maui Onions, garlic, chili water, Aloha Soy Sauce (shoyu), and some other spices; Vietnamese Rice Cake with Coconut Syrup; Vietnamese Spring Rolls (not fried); 1/4 lb of raw pepperoni - just a stick to chew on; Tandoori chicken; Indian Nan bread; Baked (by me) fish: snook, redfish, sheepshead, snapper, grouper, mahi-mahi (dolphin but not “Flipper” kind); Mom’s Pierogis (Polish origin); Grandma’s Chicken Soup… I could write all day. Can you tell I’ve been in Thailand for nearly 3 years and going through withdrawals?

4 . When I was about 10 years old I had cheated on my music exam and my music teacher called to speak with my mother that night. I picked up the phone and faked like I had my mother pick up the phone in the upstairs but instead I faked the conversation and pretended to be my mother! The music teacher was none-the-wiser!

3. I had about 30 warts covering my left and right knees as I was growing up. Kids made fun of me for years and I developed quite a complex about wearing shorts. Now that they’re gone (applied banana peels at about age 14, if you can believe that) I hate to be caught wearing ANYTHING but shorts when not working and sometimes when working.

2. My favorite job ever in my life was working at an elderly care home in Pennsylvania… Duties included changing bedpans, soiled sheets, colostomy bags and other “horrible” things, but none of it bothered me.

1. I had the coolest little pocket Chihuahua named “Mango” about 7 years ago. I let him out to do his business at midnight and watched him for a bit, then someone pulled up to the apartment complex and I was outside in my underwear so I ran in to grab shorts. I was back outside in 20 seconds. Mango disappeared in that time. My guess is one of two evils happened… the alligator in the canal next to the parking lot got him, or the huge owl picked him up in one silent swoop. The girl that pulled up to the building looked with me for a couple hours, but Mango was nowhere to be found!

It’s been so long since I’ve thought about this, but this is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

It is a quick-fix for fingernail biting, or picking… whatever it is that you’re doing. In the past I had a problem with it, it would irk me to feel a piece of skin on my finger or a nail that wasn’t perfectly smooth and I’d pick at it. One thing would lead to another and I’d have found fault with every nail and tried to ‘fix’ them by pulling off one part. The problem with fingernails is that they are NEVER perfect if you’re picking at them or biting them to take away stray pieces that stick out.

It’s IMPOSSIBLE to make them perfect unless you use a nail clipper and even file them. Some people are not bothered by rough edges or irregularity in their nails. Others, like me crave perfection and never find it picking the nail with other nails to make them perfect!

I was unblessed to have fingernails thin like paper. They are not strong and when they do get long invariably they snag on something and create a little piece to pick. If I’m not thinking I’ll pull one. Game over, it’s usually all done unconsciously but within an hour I’ve usually removed all (or a majority) of fingernails because of the one that had a problem!

About 4 years back I stumbled across a simple web site by “Loren Parks” after a Google search. I had been considering buying some chemical formula that tasted like fermented death when you put it on your nails and your nail went into your mouth. I thought, yeah, that’d work. But, this guy’s site was free and very simple. Being a believer in psychology - but prior to this, only a believer in psychology that is person-to-person or self-induced I thought I’d give it a try.

Mr. Parks offered a free download of a .wav file on his site. There were numerous tutorials that told of it’s effectiveness and I couldn’t figure it out… what is this guy gaining by showing so many tutorials about how it works - if he isn’t SELLING something?

My curiousity got the best of me and I listened to the file after reading the page on his site.

I swear to you that I didn’t bite my fingernails or pick at them for MONTHS my recollection is that initially it worked for about 8 months.

No joke. It was that simple. I was (and still am) floored over it. It blows me away that this could possibly work. I experienced it, there’s no trick. I’m not selling anything to you either.

If you have a problem with nail picking or biting you might want to see what this guy is saying. It’s a small download and I’d like to copy it and give it to you - but I also want you to see his site, as simple as it is because there is other good information on it - and other, streaming audio files that you might want to listen to - but that I didn’t even need.

I just listened to the .wav file that he offers for download. I downloaded the file to my computer desktop years ago and it’s since been lost - but he’s STILL online and it is the same file I remember!

Go get it while you can and you might want to visit the rest of his site too since he probably has other great information to help you!

Loren Parks’ Free Fingernail Biting Treatment 1

If you visit that page and listen and you find that you STILL bite or pick your fingernails then you can go to this page… this is actually the audio that I remember listening to four years ago. Exactly the same!

Fingernail Biting Treatment 2

Just scroll down to the bottom of the page to get the links to the file and the audio streaming links.

If you visit his homepage you can see that he has audio files that may help in the treatment of MANY different things, though I cannot vouch for any of the others, the fingernail treatment worked incredibly well for me and I believe the tutorials on his site are genuine.

No, I do not know this guy personally and I wouldn’t recommend him without having had great success with is technique.

Good luck! Tell me if something worked for you as I’ll have more blog posts about him.

Best of Life,

Over the last 2 years since being in Thailand I’ve started - for the first time, to think about what my core personality traits are. Core traits are the ones that you display before even thinking about them. They are not an act, they are part of who you are. They are at the base, the foundation, of who you are as a human being on this big planet.

Here is my short list of core personality traits that are “the real Vern”. I never really state these out loud but they are always there, part of my psyche and guiding me in every interaction that I have socially among my circle of friends and strangers I meet.

It reminds me of the Boy Scout motto - or part of a list of what a scout is. When I was in Boy Scouts up until age 16 I remember saying something about, “A scout is trustworthy, loyal, kind, helpful, obedient, perseverant, friendly, hmm… I know I messed up the order of the saying - but anyway, here goes what I think I am…

1. Friendly. I am friendly with people that I first meet. Friendly as in cordial. Not overly kiss-your-feet and fawn all over you friendly, but I am always nice to people I don’t know. I give people the benefit of the doubt upon first meeting them and treat them like they are a person worthy of respect and worth getting to know.

2. Helpful. If someone needs help, they ask for it, and I can readily provide it or provide it after some small effort I always help. If it will take me a moderate amount of effort and I have the time at that moment, I will help. If it takes me an extreme amount of effort or I think that the person is being lazy and just doesn’t want to do the process him/herself then I will pass. I’m helpful when I judge the situation to require it, as we all are I guess! I’m a firm believer in not asking anyone for help unless it’s something I’m just stuck on - and have no option to do it by myself. When people are asking me for help with an issue that they can do themselves, I will usually just explain how I would do it, and let them go about it themselves. I like to enable people to do for themselves, sometimes that’s a good way to be helpful too.

3. Good listener. I listen well for a couple reasons. When I talk I like it to be something meaningful. General conversation about mundane topics is not exciting to me, and usually you won’t see me engaging in that type of behavior much. I just don’t think it’s worth the time. I know others will insist it is and that it builds a tighter knit social circle… it helps you explore others’ realities and what not. I’m sure it does, but I’m just not someone that does it or cares to start. I listen well because I genuinely have a real understanding of people that are hurting emotionally. I think I have a great deal of empathy - which is the next trait on the list. If I can lessen someone’s emotional pain by providing my usual “alternative” look at the reality they’re experiencing I really am happy inside.

The other reason I’m a good listener is because I am listening to understand the person that is speaking. What are the person’s core beliefs? Are they trying to accomplish something by talking to me, as in, do they have an agenda? Are they speaking from the heart, or are they repeating things that they’ve heard said and acting as if they are fact? I listen from a psychological standpoint and assess as much as I can about the person and what they’re saying. One of my core traits is that I don’t waste time. If it appears I’m wasting time with someone that is not going to be a win-win interaction I cut the conversation short with the truth. Sometimes the truth to them is bewildering, because I do not fluff the truth - I just state it and that’s the end of the conversation.

4. Empathic. I know I’m a person filled with empathy for those that are going through pain of some sort. I have been through some really intense emotional pain. I know pain of all sorts. I know that there are all levels of pain and that pain can seem totally overwhelming and all-consuming. I know that, and after empathizing with them I can give someone 6 examples of experiences that are much worse than whatever it is they’re going through.

This is one of the core ways I interact with others… I present someone else’s reality that is far worse than what the person in pain is experiencing and they start to feel like they are not really at the bottom yet when I paint them pictures of people that really ARE at the bottom. I then start to identify many positive things they have going for them. Like, did they eat food today? If yes, that’s a positive because there are a couple million across the planet that didn’t.

Pain must be gone through in the person’s own time. Don’t rush someone out of the pain, let them feel it until they’re ready to go forward again. If they ask you or are crying out to you then listen and maybe try some of the steps I mentioned above. It seems to work for people I’ve talked with in pain.

5. Fun and funny. To me, life is a game. If I laugh 100 times today, that’s about right for a normal day. I try to make others laugh if I think the possibility exists during conversation. People like people that make them laugh. I like to be liked. I make others laugh so I can laugh too. I like a win-win… but I like a happy-happy even better.

6. Energetic. I don’t know if I’ve said “I’m too tired” more than 100 times in my entire adult life. I am never too tired to do something physically and I see it as a personal weakness if I do say it or I hear someone else say it. How can you be too tired to do something? Didn’t you eat your 2000 calories everyday since you turned 18 years old? Yes, of course you did. How can you be too tired then?

7. Inspirational. I like to motivate others to do something positive with their time, their energy, their lives. Hence this web site.

8. Analytical, not emotional. I am 98% analytical in my thinking. Emotions don’t really enter the picture unless there is extreme emotionality involved in whatever issue I’m considering. I like to deal with clear facts (as clear as possible!) when I think and make decisions. I rarely ever base a decision or an action on an emotion. Some of you may think I’d act like a robot when you met me - but that’s really not true. My interpersonal communication is relaxed and easy-going. I don’t speak in blips and beeps and I don’t stand rigidly and move mechanically.

9. Inflexible. I noticed since I came to Thailand that as much as I try to be flexible about certain ways they do things here I am continually upset by lies and changes in the plans. Thai people live their whole lives with the idea of “face” as the prevalent social factor that guides them through life. I do not. If face is the most important thing, then many confrontations, disagreements, and errors, wrongs and such are never taken care of and eventually something fails to happen. Thais’ would much prefer to gloss over differences in opinion and problems. They basically ignore them and in the end - someone just gives in and says, “Mai pen rai” which means something close to, “It doesn’t matter” or “No matter” or “Never mind”. It’s very difficult for me to accept this and live life this way so I’m constantly challenged by it!

10. Easy Going! Nothing is all that important to me because one of my core beliefs is that life is a game. To me life is no more serious than a game of checkers. Yes, I really believe that. I know the majority of readers will disagree with that. This belief lets me not take anything too overly seriously and keep smiling and laughing. If I wasn’t smiling and laughing life would really be unbearable!

11. Curious. Maybe more than anything else I am curious. I want to find out the WHY of things. WHY does a seed, using only water, sunlight and some trace minerals in the dirt grow over time into a mango tree with hundreds of the most succulent fruit I’ve ever tasted? Why is someone so serious about certain topics? Why isn’t religion solving anything? Why do snakes know not to eat poisonous cane toads?

Anyone care to share their Core Personality Traits?

Best of Life,

One of those awesome experiences in life, totally awe-inspiring and shocking to the core of your being is coming close to being struck by lightening.

I had one of those experiences yesterday. In fact, it was the COOLEST experience of my entire 41 year life! I’ll tell you why in a moment… Almost getting struck, or getting struck and being OK must be the ULTIMATE experience as it turns your entire body into pure adrenalin. You are wondering if you’re dead…

When I lived in Hawaii there was not much lightening. Usually storms did NOT have any lightening. In Florida - and especially the Tampa area, it is the lightening capital of the WORLD. There are more strikes per square mile than anywhere in the world. I regularly saw lightening strike so close to me that there was very little gap between the hit and the thunder clap (< 1 sec). I counseled a man in Florida (for a traumatic brain injury center), that had been hit by lightening 2 times. He was 6′ 7″ and over 280 lbs of muscle. He cowered in the bathroom when a thunderstorm came during our session.

The closest I came to being hit in Florida was while I was in Miami and attending the university. I was carrying my laundry basket toward the laundry room 10 meters away from my room in a pouring rain. It was so hard I couldn’t see more than 10 meters in front of me. I was half-way there when a bolt of lightening struck the laundry room (a clothes dryer, actually) and the earth shook with the noise. I was dropped to my feet in an instant, on my knees. I say “I was dropped” because there is no way in the world I could have a reaction that fast because it was as if I dropped at the exact time the lightening struck. No gap. I layed there in the rain puddle afraid to move an inch for a couple minutes, not believing lightening never strikes the same spot twice. I washed my clothes the next day!

The vehicle I was in on the way from Tampa to Pittsburgh was struck by lightening once. Anyone ever had that happen? The vehicle was a large jetliner that was flying right through the worst turbulence I’d ever experienced on a plane and I’ve had well over 100 flights.

I was sitting at the window seat immediately behind the right wing. My girlfriend at the time was pretty scared, she was no stranger to flying, but this flight was NUTS, passengers were crying and occasionally someone would scream or curse something when we hit bad pockets of turbulence that would have sent us crashing into the ceiling of the plane were it not for the seat belts.

The sound of the lighting striking the plane was as if someone was standing on the wing and hit the metal with a 100 lb sledgehammer - if someone could swing one VERY fast. The entire plane shook or steadied - it did something different from what it was doing, hard to tell. The lights went out and there was this aweful and very loud sound like the groan of a capacitor sucking up the million volts or so into safety coils so we didn’t all die. It was the sound of death for sure.

When the strike hit, the entire plane was quiet as death - because that’s what we thought we were about to experience.

But, within a few seconds everything revved back up - including the engines I think because it seemed like they turned back on. Emergency lights went on and we all were still VERY quiet despite the same turbulence throwing the plane around.

My girlfriend was locked onto my entire left side. If I would have stood up, she’d have been FIRMLY attached. She had a death grip on me. She asked me, “Were we just hit by lightening?” (she hadn’t seen the flash on the wing like I did).

I said, “No, I think the rain is just really heavy.” A BAREFACED lie, but anything to calm her. In fact, not many saw the strike but everyone heard and felt the result.

Well, we lived through it and it was one of the most awesome (scary) experiences I’ve ever had. THE scariest?

But those things were in the past… Yesterday’s experience was something novel, something so extraordinary… and an AWESOME experience, not a negative one…

I was at the top of a mountain and taking photos. The sky was incredible and I had already seen a rainbow in a small rainstorm and took many photos of that. Seeing a rainbow (’roong’ Thais’ say) is quite a rarity in Thailand!

I had been up at the top for a couple of hours, planning to meditate but on this day it was cooler, the sun wasn’t out full-force and I was plagued by mosquitoes at the spot I wanted to sit. Then the clouds started to change around the 360-degree view and I was happy taking photos. The sky started to grow into one massive storm. There was lightening once every 10 minutes or so. The rain was far away, about 4 miles I’m guessing. The lightening was sometimes as close as 2 miles, but not closer (counted to 10, 1 sec = 1/5 of a mile away).

I was taking photos of the storm (see top pic) when, DURING this photo a strong lightening bolt struck far away, toward the center of the storm and my entire body tingled as if God reached down from the sky and touched me. The hair on my entire body stood up and my skin “tingled” all over…

You know if you put your hand on the glass of an old TV screen and turn it on - you feel that charge and it makes you tingle? It was similar to that, but multiplied by a few factors of 10.

At the same time I felt this incredible sensation I heard the various antennae around me humming (for lack of a better word). I couldn’t move. I was asking myself for about 10 seconds, am I dead now? I was looking at my feet for a body - you know, like I could see it if I was already dead and separate from it! My mouth fell open and I just stood there looking around. One other guy was close to me (10 meters) and was doing the same thing as me… just looking around in an obvious state of shock. He too had felt the awesome power of the lightening bolt miles away.

There was a Buddhist monk and some girls from Denmark that were further away, maybe 30 meters and they didn’t feel it. There were some tourists climbing down the steps that I met up with (because I was getting down QUICK) that said they didn’t feel it either.

Feeling that energy - that charge that made my entire self vibrate, was the most awesome spontaneous experience that I’ve ever had. It was even more incredible than seeing the Northern Lights or bodyboarding a monster wave. I think what made it so cool was because I was totally unprepared for it, and because it really made me wonder in the most profound and truthful way… “Am I dead now?” I was actually considering that question…!

Best of Life!

Vern