Photo from user: Frisco Ques-Up and Down Sports at flickr.com. CC license.

Since everyone on Twitter is linking to articles about predictions – especially in the tech area…

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These are my bold predictions for 2010 – concerning, well, all sorts of things.

1. The Apple Tablet will be launched in 2010. It won’t be called the iPad or iSlate, but will be called the “iGOD”. It will be an ebook reader, mp3 player, digital TV, and accept pen-based input – including handwriting recognition. It will squawk politely (chirp) like a bird and it will watch the baby for you and stream it back to your computer as you work in another room.

It cannot share movies, photos, music, ringtones, ebooks, any files, batteries,  or even SMS text – everything is tied to iTunes and you pay handsomely for everything.

Fan boys and girls will be screaming about it from the time it is announced until well after 19 other products with better functionality show up over the course of the year. Price? Just $399 with some ridiculous 24 month data plan attached to it.

2. The Google phone, Nexus One will crush the iPhone, knocking Apple off their feet backward. Fan boys and girls still scream… iPhone RULES! It ROCKS! It’s AWESOME! No COMPETITION! The rest of the world, owning Google phones, go on to bigger and better things, leading lives of carefree happiness and contentment.

3. Google’s organic search results become impossible to predict with any degree of regularity. SEO experts morph into Twitter and FaceBook experts.

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4. Obama does something really good, virtually assuring himself of a 2nd term.

5. North Korea and Iran will tick off even more countries of the world as we all  collectively agree to wipe their governments off the face of the planet with a team of just 50 SEAL-type dudes in a top-secret commando op that takes 24 hours. Total. Both countries.

6. Thailand continues on in the same ole’ same ole’ by changing governments yet again. Red Shirts and Thaksin take over the country by summer and Thailand stagnates for 2010, but starts killing it in 2011 because, though he’s been accused of lining his own pockets – he’s a crafty dude and he knows how to get things done in Thailand.

7. Americans still won’t understand how the advertising world, television, radio, and internet is linked to spending more than they have. They will continue to spend more money they don’t have and erode any chance of saving for the future.

8. Citizens in nearly every country in the world will get even fatter yet.

9. Hawaii will turn Kahoolawe into a wind farm, powering all islands.

10. Even more internet marketers will get online with nothing to say except what everyone else is already saying.

11. A couple million people trying to make a living from their blogs will realize they were never really ready to make a difference, and bail out.

12. The eBook market becomes flooded with junk. People that think they can write start producing ejunk titles by the millions. Ebook review sites and qualified referrals about the quality of ebooks for sale become very important.

13. I finally can’t hold back anymore and launch my full-time Thailand Wildlife Adventure show featuring me finding snakes, bears, monitors, lizards, and chickens in the wild and interacting with them to bring a greater understanding of untamed Thai wildlife to the masses across the globe.

14. Finally, 2010 is the year that intelligent peopleoids from another galaxy crash into a major global city, and the entire world knows instantly – we’re not alone. It’s OK though because they’re not any more intelligent than we are, in fact, they’re a bit dim. They found us only because they were flying through space and hit a space tunnel that brought them to us…

We can’t use their outdated spacecraft technology, and the world, in unison breathes a sigh of relief and decides to have the ultimate Toga – Foam – Full Moon Party in celebration.

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Related posts:

1. 2010 Goals
2. Start 2010 with some Inspiration!