I was just thinking about things that don’t really matter to me. I identify with very little that most people identify with. I’m someone that you would find ‘odd’ after a little while. Nothing really odd in my personality, in the way I relate to other people socially or anything like that. But I’m not like other people you know. I know this because I have a friend named Dave that used to ask me questions I didn’t know the answers to. “Can you name 3 pro football teams?” or, “Do you know who Christina Aguillara is?“. To all questions of this nature my answer was usually a very truthful, “No.”

After going from high school in a small Pennsylvania town to the Air Force and stationed in Hawaii for four years something really changed in me. I started to become who I am today.

I’m just odd. Let me show you. These are some things that don’t matter to me at all…

Birthdays, religious holidays, national holidays, anniversaries, leap years, new year.

The celebration part of getting married… the ceremony and all the external fluff that goes on as two people decide to live together forever.

Tradition. I don’t understand tradition and doing things because they were done in the past and because they were/are important to other people. I can’t think of a tradition that’s important to me. I don’t celebrate New Years, Thanksgiving, Halloween, or anything like that. I don’t celebrate any smaller traditions that people seem to collect over the years like wanting to go to a certain place every year on a certain day. I don’t commemorate anyone’s death because it occurred 365, 730, 1095 days or any number of days, hours, years or decades.

Television, talk radio, any other personalities, sports pros, motivational speakers, gurus, presidents, web personalities. There’s nothing like this that I follow. I don’t watch TV and haven’t for years. Radio - nope. I don’t idolize anyone. I don’t follow someone’s career or day to day doings. I don’t follow CNN, or anything else regularly. It’s all a non-issue. I don’t get anything out of following these things. I’m not a better person for having experienced it, so I don’t bother. In fact, I think TV is dangerous to the mind.

Wearing jewelry, having tattoos, wearing a watch, having hair, being thin or heavy or white or tanned. I’ve written previously about this here.

Wearing clothes that cost more than $30 per year. Most years I spend under that. I don’t enjoy when someone buys me clothes that are more expensive than what I always wear. What’s the point? Who am I trying to impress? The one thing I wear that is more than it could be is my sport sandals which are about $60 usd. They’ve lasted three years now and I’ve had them fixed once. Not sure they can be fixed again - but I’m going to try. The rubber has worn really thin but I think I can make it another 6 months on them if the guy can sew the layers of rubber together again.

What I eat. I can eat the same breakfast or lunch for weeks and months at a time. And have. I just don’t have this idea in my mind that it needs to be different. If it’s good - it’s always good. It’s good everyday, it doesn’t change. The food is the same - how can it be good one day and not good another day? I’m easy to take to lunch because almost anything goes.

Politics. When I posted the Barack Obama post the other day I did so because I found him interesting as a person. He is quite a contrast to the old white farts that have been in office as US President before. I find nothing interesting about anything he might say about politics or who won the election.

War. War will happen between nations the same as it happens between people. The ego seems to be the reason for it all. Whether Americans or Iraqi’s or Germans are dying - makes no difference to me - it’s all a horrible thing. But you know what? To me it makes no sense to fight for anything physically in a country far away from mine unless someone has physically attacked my country and I’m retaliating.

My sense of vengeance is rather strong. It’s huge really. Wrong me in a way that really devastates me and if I can still move I’ll destroy everything you know. Why do smart men and women voluntarily go to war because of a threat someone else tells them about? Tradition and the respect of their friends and family, and even strangers. Some of those that go to war voluntarily will die. I’d be concerned if they were going involuntarily - to me, that would be really wrong.

Respect. I don’t need to know that someone else likes or respects me. With the exception of very few people in my life I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. This is a bizarre thing I realize, but I am quite OK with how I am and I’m not concerned in the least if someone doesn’t understand my decisions, or actions. I waste little time trying to explain to get them on my ’side’.

Nationalism. Teams. Any Group. I don’t identify with some group. I don’t feel for it. I don’t feel like I’m white. I don’t feel like an American. I don’t feel like a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, though I used to think I was when I was 18. I don’t feel like anything that I’m a part of is more important than anything anyone else is a part of. I don’t think the USA is the greatest country because I grew up there and most of the people I like and know are there. I don’t think that because I meditate I am any better than someone who prays. I haven’t cared who won a sporting match since I watched football in high school at home in Pennsylvania.

These make no difference in my mind at all. I don’t concern myself with things like that. I have friends and family members that are NUTS about sports and politics. It doesn’t make me want to care about those things. Let them care - up to them. What is it to me? Nothing at all.

Name calling. Cussing at me. How someone is talking to me - whether they are emotional and using cuss words with me doesn’t affect me at all. To some people certain words are felt more to them. With me - no. I don’t feel any different when someone calls me a name or yells about something I’ve done. I feel it, yes. Don’t get me wrong - but I feel the fear that it might escalate to a physical fight, or else just the stress of having the argument at all. If someone calls me the worst thing you can think of in your mind it doesn’t affect me any more than would, “idiot” or something else considered by most as innocuous. I know what I am. If I am the thing that you said, I already know and there’s no reaction inside. If not, I know that too.

The past. I have experienced a lot in the past. I know only because I remember it. Is it affecting me right this moment? No. Has it led to where I am today?

Of course, it seems that everyone’s past has lead them to where they are in the present. But, what is gained by looking at it? What is gained by thinking much about it at all? Memory helps us avoid future mistakes and helps guide us in being more intelligent about choices we make for the future. I find myself thinking very little about the past and much more about right now. What can I do in the next 5 minutes. What can I do today? What can I do in a week? I never ask myself - What can I do last week? Nothing. I can’t do a damn thing - so why ask that question?

Living and dying. If I haven’t lost you already this one should do it. I don’t have any more inclination to live than to die. Now, this is not to say that when faced with a painful death that I wouldn’t be afraid at that moment - I know I would still feel fear. Fear won’t ever leave this mind because it’s part of the rules. Everyone feels it. Can it go away totally? I think so, but for me - not yet.

Ask me as I’m sitting on the floor comfortably where I live if it matters at all to live or die and I’ll answer, “no”. It doesn’t matter at all. Ask me if I want to be kept alive longer than I would live if I have cancer or something else. The answer is, “no”. Ask me if I want electronic respirators, blood transfusions, mouth to mouth resuscitation or chemo and I will say simply, “no”. What I would want is something to take pain away if it’s interfering with me interacting with people while I die or if it’s too much to handle. Yes, I want that.

Do I want to live longer as a result of some effort from someone? NO, I DON”T WANT THAT. When it’s time to go it’s time to go. That must be the most incredible experience and one that I don’t want anyone on earth delaying. Everything here is subject to cycles. Part of the cycle of me is death - how can one interfere with that. I don’t ‘get it’ and I don’t want it.

shirt = 250 baht ($7) four years ago.
shorts = 100 baht ($3) two weeks ago
socks = 40 baht ($1.15) three years ago
new balance running shoes = 400 baht used, ($12) six months ago

Peace of mind as a result of being weird, odd, strange or mental?

Priceless.

I’ve come to what I think is a conclusion now about the meaning of life. In the previous article I talked about the meaning of life for the individual. Often times we come to our own conclusion about the meaning of life for us personally.

Whatever you come up with for your own life I want you to consider adding this one too…

The ultimate shared meaning of life for everyone on the planet is:

Helping others get through their lives a little bit easier.

That’s it.

That’s the whole meaning of life for mankind as a whole.

If you think about it - that’s what everything, every clue about the meaning of life is pointing toward…

Helping others get through life just a little easier than they would have without the help.

Life is full of suck for all of us. There’s a lot to deal with. Some have it easier than others, sure. But, in the end if you really took a realistic look at your life you’d see that your life is FILLED with pain.

The alarm clock rings in the morning. You know you should get up. The way society is in America, you must get up. If you don’t get up you must lie to your employer about why you didn’t make it to work that day. Do that a couple of times and you’ve lost your job and caused more problems than the pain that existed pulling yourself up out of bed.

From the time you wake up until the time you sleep you have things that you ‘need’ to do to keep participating in the society you live in. Most of these things are not what you would choose to be doing in an ideal life. If your life were ideal you would choose what to do with each part of your day. Few of us have that freedom.

Not all that many of us will take an objective look at their own life and see all that sucks about it. If we did - we’d ask ourselves - WHY are we going through life like this? Am I not SMARTER than this? Why do I owe 9-12 hours of my 16 hours awake to someone or some company I could care less about?

Life as is it in these United States, sucks basically.

There are those of us that can deal with it everyday. We might blow off steam once a year or once in three years. That’s all we need. There are those that can’t make it through each day without major drama.

Is it their fault? How long could you go being so poor you couldn’t buy clothes detergent to hand wash your clothes? How many times could you listen to your kids asking you what’s to eat for lunch when you know they’re going to have to make it through without lunch until they get some bread and peanut butter for dinner?

Me? Not too many times.

There are people in the USA like this. There are people in the world like this. There are HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of people in the world like this. In your town you might know someone like this. You may have had a problem with them in the past or you may know poor children that are in class with your children.

You might have been cut off while driving by someone that has just had enough of life’s stressors and can’t take anymore.

Here in Thailand the majority of people are doing OK on what little they have. They wake up and go to work like you do. They have families that need fed and they work 8-12 hours like you do. Overall most in Thailand are doing well enough to survive and thrive. At the end of the month after expenses they might have an average of $18 to spend on non-necessities. Most of them are OK with that. That’s what most people have. It’s the norm for Thai society. In American dollars that might equate to almost $100 USD.

Others, and there are thousands upon thousands in this country of 65 million, don’t have the education or the physical health to work as much as they need to in order to provide for their families. In the USA we tend to see poverty as something people can get out of if they just pulled themselves together. It’s their fault.

Pulling themselves together is the impossible part of that for most of them. For you and I, sure, we understand there are good times and bad and we roll with them. We tell ourselves there is more good than bad. But, what about those that tell themselves there is so much more bad than good? They’re impoverished and living in your town and every other town across America.

In Thailand there’s an understanding that older people have worked enough and the children are usually working to support them as they move into adulthood and get jobs. There is also an understanding that there are quite a few people that didn’t get a good education - maybe NO education. Thai society, individuals really, take it upon themselves to help those that are too poor to take care of daily needs like food and a place to sleep.

Even so, Thailand is caught up in an era where many are starting to be able to make a little more money. There are Thais driving Mercedes Benzs that cost $100K dollars. There are Land Rovers, Lexus SUV’s, Toyota Landcruisers, BMW SUVs, and all kinds of European supercars driven by the rich. Some Thais have it all. Imagine making $40,000 usd per year and being able to afford a Mercedes, a Lexus RV and a $100,000 home. They’re doing it in Thailand. The cost of living here is cheaper than the USA - much cheaper. But, it’s not free.

Every Thai adult still needs $100 per month for even the most basic necessities in the smallest of villages to survive.

Not every adult gets that here. There are those that work construction for 10 hours a day every day of the week and they receive 2,000 baht (66 dollars) a month for their labor. They sweat outside under Thailand’s blazing sun and in the unbearable humidity every single day building homes for rich Thais just to be able to survive.

All around the world are people that are having a tough time of life. Some more than others.

For myself… life isn’t that difficult. I feel like a winner in the game of life. I know that because I’ve continually pulled myself out of holes and accomplished whatever was necessary to get back to “good times”. I have that confidence about myself. I have the skills, the education, and the unsinkable attitude. I have a well rounded view of reality… Life sucks sometimes, and other times I’m doing everything I can to keep the suck in the background.

Are you like that? Most of you reading this article are. But, there are SO many people that aren’t.

I’ve been really thinking about this latest idea that life for each and every one of us is all about helping others get through their lives a little bit easier.

Some of us have it all. We laugh at others that tell us life sucks. We’ve got a house or houses, vacation home, boat, sports car, SUV, and every electronics toy that comes on the market. I’ve been there. It’s a great spot to be in. As I think back, it’s a selfish good feeling. Good yes, but it’s only being concerned with the self. That kind of good feeling doesn’t last very long.

Contrast your having it all with kids that are living in the projects that are shaking cockroaches out of their Corn Flakes box before they pour themselves a bowl to have with water (not milk).

Some of us are in a position to help. And, help a LOT. There are thousands of opportunities to help others that slip past us - often without us even noticing. I noticed that when I LOOK for ways to help I find some. I’ve been finding so many opportunities as I consciously go looking for them.

Helping others is the ultimate gratification in life. In a way it’s selfish too - because you’re actually making yourself feel really good. But, what better way to be selfish? It’s a win-win. We’re by nature, selfish beings. We seek to repeat experiences which make us feel good. We do that which makes us happy.

Try doing something for someone else. Try helping them do something, to accomplish something - however small, and see how you feel. I’ll bet it feels good. TRY it to feel it yourself and see how easy it is to get addicted to that feeling. I am seriously becoming addicted to it as I realize more each day that there’s nothing better for me to do with my life than help others.

What else can you do for yourself that makes you feel so good except giving something of yourself to others? Buy yourself a new iPhone? How long will that good feeling last? Until the next phone comes on the market. But really, not even that long.

Doing something for others that you didn’t need to do… weren’t obligated to do… maybe didn’t even have TIME to do… and that you did just because you wanted to help a fellow human being get through life a little bit easier is the coolest feeling in the entire realm of experience.

Find out for yourself - I challenge you.

Not only poor people need help. I’m not talking just about monetary help. Helping others can be ANYTHING that helps them get through life easier.

Can you make someone smile?

Can you give someone an alternative view that might get them unstuck from a downward spiral of negative thinking?

Can you offer some words of encouragement?

Can you share a story about your life that mirrored an experience someone you know is having and how you pulled yourself out of it?

Can you help someone get somewhere? Offer a lift to somewhere? Can you offer a smoke to someone? Can you offer 10 minutes to help someone do something? Can you teach someone a new skill with your free time that might help them take care of themselves better later on as they learn?

For myself I really enjoy doing things in secret… I like to give someone something without them knowing where it came from. That to me is a real rush… I’ll share something with you that I was keeping for myself but it will show you how easy it is to do something cool for others without them knowing about it.

I was at a local Buddhist temple and I walked into the convenience store to get something to drink. Two little girls came in after me - maybe 7 years old, both of them. They were in dirty shirt and shorts and their clothing was really simple. They were skinny as rails and they had 20 baht with them clenched tightly in one hand.

Some rubber springy balls almost like yo-yos but made entirely of grippy flourescent yellow and green rubber with tentacles caught their eyes as they came in - they both walked quickly to them. They talked excitedly about them and played with them before looking at the price. 20 baht each. They played a little more and then resigned themselves to looking all over the store for something they could afford for both of them.

I quickly chose a drink from the cooler and went to the cashier, a Buddhist nun  I’ve known for a year now… when the little girls were behind one of the rows of goods I grabbed two of the springy balls - a yellow one and a green one and paid for them. I gave them to the clerk and asked her to give them to the girls. She started to call the girls and I asked her to do it when I was gone. Secret. Kwam Lahp!- in Thai.

I walked away from the store and watched from a distance as they came out playing with the balls - so excited and looking for the foreigner which gave them their secret gifts.

The smiles and the excitement on their faces made me smile inside. For 40 baht, about $1.33 I was able to give them something fun to do for a few minutes… maybe an hour. Maybe they have brothers and sisters that will play with them too? Maybe they’ll tell their parents the story. Maybe their parents will have a better view of foreigners in their country. Maybe…

What could be better than helping others become a little bit happier? What could be better than making life a little bit easier for someone?

Is there anyone you know that you can help get through life a little bit easier today?

Your action need not be life changing. It need not be dramatic. You don’t have to give someone $100 to help. But, you might give $3. You might contribute to someone’s plugin you used to power your FireFox browser. You might offer to carry something for someone. You might offer a ride to someone or share a book you are finished with and that will sit on your bookshelf for 19 years before someone decides to throw it away or donate it to the library.

You might do…

A n y t h i n g.

Look for opportunities… they’re all around you if you look for them.

Moving 1 inch might set you free to travel an eternity...

I was reading something from Tom at Mindhacks about an experience he has while rock-climbing and I started to relate it to other life situations that it also applies to.

Tom was saying that he frequently has an experience while rock-climbing in which he finds himself stuck in a situation that doesn’t offer any good hand holds to help him move forward. Nor backward even. In his mind - he’s stuck, there’s no real option that exists at that moment in time because his mind is limited to not seeing any options. Everything that he wants to advance toward is just out of reach by only a little bit. Enough that he knows if he tries to go for a big stretch he’s going to fall.

I’m no expert, but I climb some simple routes. Climbing rocks is strange because you really don’t have all that long to find your next hold and get there before you run out of strength. It’s always a matter of time… superman would run out of strength at some point if he was stuck.

As the mind searches - confidently at first and then frantically before the body runs out of energy to hold him where he is… something must happen.

What happens is he realizes he has feet. He stops looking for handholds - which might be two or three feet away and starts looking for a new foothold to support him. A new foothold means he can move just a little bit. Maybe it’s only an inch or so. That might be ALL IT TAKES to enable him to see new hand holds from that new vantage point.

One inch in any direction might the the key to getting the whole way up the mountain, ridge, whatever he’s climbing.

You too.

One inch in any direction starts the ball rolling and it brings to the surface new possibilities… If you are truly stuck where you are - and you probably aren’t, you’re just blind to the possibilities that exist, you might need to move an inch in some direction. Doesn’t matter what direction - go backwards if you can’t go forward or parallel to where you are.

I was sitting here at my notebook computer thinking about how I should post something to Aim for Awesome because it’s been a few days. I have been smashed between some big SEO projects and I really want to give my clients the best I can so I’ve been consumed by them for the last week.

I didn’t have the slightest idea what to write about ten minutes ago. I was stuck. I stepped an inch by telling my friend what my problem was. Not expecting any answer, just wanting to share with her the strangeness of not being able to switch gears from SEO mode and optimizing websites for Google and being creative enough to write an article about something interesting for all of you.

She said immediately, “Don’t you have a stock of article’s you’ve already written that you could use?”

Initially I tried to play it off… “Yes, but I just don’t feel like editing one and making it live.”

Then I realized - wow, she gave me the answer… let me take the ball and run (or jog at least).

I said, “OK, let me open up the folder and see if anything jumps out at me.”

This article did. It reminded me of climbing, which I’m really starting to love… that was just enough to get me interested in reading Tom’s article again and then writing up this one for you.

Go an inch - any direction and see what happens.

If you’re ever stuck in any situation try it. Move an inch.

Moving an inch might equate to:

• Making one phone call.
• Talking to a friend about it.
• Taking one less sip of your bottle of scotch tonight.
• Trying a different style ad on your web site.
• Cutting your hair off.
• Picking up the next phone call instead of ignoring it.
• Giving a pregnant woman begging for money $10.00.
• Going outside to exercise instead of on your stationary bike.

It could mean anything, depending on the situation you find your self “stuck in”.

Frequently I think we’re not really stuck - we’re blinded to possibility. Possibility exists in every situation. Sometimes we’re just blind to it.

Open up your eyes by moving an inch any direction and see what happens…

Over 10 years ago when I started meditating I was in a state of mind where I didn’t want to follow a religion. I didn’t see any truth in religion as many of the beliefs require faith in something that I cannot prove or disprove. I’m a very logical person and faith in the supernatural does not happen for me, unless I experience it directly.

I became interested in Buddhism in about 1995 I think it was. I’ve read a lot about Buddhism over the past 10+ years and I have come to see that there are really 2 types or lines of thought about what Buddhism is. Even here in Thailand there are two camps so to speak.

2. The second type are those that believe in the whole -ism. The whole ball of wax including the hundreds of rules for monks and everything that Buddha and all the important meditators and Buddhists after him said and did. The Buddhist machine here in Thailand is huge and very rich. Superstition plays a large part in Buddhism here and most Buddhists believe that if they give money to the local temple they will earn karma points and go on to better things in this life and in the next life.

Westerners tend to be of this variety. Well heck, the majority of people tend to be of this variety. People love to follow a system and to compare their system to others. They love to talk about their religion and debate all the little points in it. It gives them something to do that they think is worthy of their time and effort.

Buddhadassa Bhikkhu called this type of Buddhism the “tumor” that has distracted us from what Buddhism truly is.

1. The first type of Buddhism is the simple, believe nothing until you try it for yourself line of thinking. I really like this style of Buddhism. Buddha said, believe nothing you hear if it doesn’t jive with your experience. He cautioned people not to believe what HE said without trying it out and finding the truth in it. This means we’re free to experiment with meditation and about anything in the realm of Buddhism on our own. It means we need not follow the entire game of Buddhism and all that has been built up around it to call ourselves ‘Buddhist’.

Buddhadassa Bhikku, founder of Suan Mokkh Buddhist temple in Chaiya, Thailand was someone that believed Buddhism was vastly different from the other religions of the world. He even wrote a book, “No Religion” which details his view on the subject. It’s a very small book and given away freely here in Thailand. Occasionally you can find it at Buddhist temples in the USA. Another of his books which illustrates his ideas about the right kind of Buddhism is, “Handbook for Mankind.” You can download the free PDF version of this book at Buddhanet’s page here. Scroll down to find it. This is a quote from that book…

“The real Buddhism is not books, not manuals, not word for word repetition from the Tipitaka, nor is it rites and rituals. These are not the real Buddhism. The real Buddhism is the practice, by way of body, speech and mind that will destroy the defilements, in part or completely. One need not have anything to do with books or manuals. One ought not to rely on rites and rituals, or anything else external, including spirits and celestial beings. “

And another…

“Buddhism does not demand conjecture or supposition; it demands that we act in accordance with what our own insight reveals and not take anyone elses word for anything. If someone comes and tells us something, we must not believe him without question. We must listen to his statement and examine it. Then if we find it reasonable, we may accept it provisionally and set about trying to verify it for ourselves. This is a key feature of Buddhism, which distinguishes it sharply from other world religions.”

In this video I talk more about Buddhism and the two lines of thought about what Buddhism really is, and what I believe in personally.

Video 2, Buddhism… Two Basic Lines of Belief >

This is a .wmv file and plays with Windows Media Player. The file is about 9MB in size and runs for 22 minutes. This was an experiment at the smaller resolution - 176×144. Future videos will be at 320×240 which will be much bigger!

If you want your audio to sound better, try to copy the settings (in general) from the equalizer image below for Windows Media Player. Vern sounds best at these settings… though in this particular video - the sound from the first 4 minutes is not good. It gets better. I’ve learned something about compressing the video that small!

Enjoy!

Best of Life!

Vern

Psst: I almost forgot, below is a photo of where I shot the video today - awesome place!