Networking with others is one of those things that most people have a hard time with. I’m one of them. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing while I’m networking.

What is networking? Why do I need it? Why should I go somewhere I don’t want to go to meet people I don’t want to meet?

With the exception of working with adults and teens with schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder and traumatic brain injury (TBI) for six years during undergrad and graduate study I wouldn’t consider myself a “people person” at the workplace. When I’m working I do it best alone, working on my projects… optimizing them so I get the highest number of visitors to the websites of those I”m working for - or for my own sites as half the time I am self-employed and have numerous websites and blogs going.

In 2002 I thought I wanted to make the transition from Internet Marketing Consultant, working on my own and doing short 2-6 month contracts with companies that needed help with their online efforts to “Marketing Manager” with a resort management company on the Island of Maui in Hawaii.

It seemed like a perfect match at first. I was well-versed in everything they needed to get cranking online and they had done virtually nothing over the years to keep up with other major resorts on Maui like Hilton and Sheraton. I knew I could help them a LOT. That was exciting for me because if I take a project on I want to be able to help a lot. To be a token player isn’t what gets me excited about going to work everyday, it’s all about how much success I can bring to the company with my efforts.

Part of the job involved meeting people in the community that my employer already had established relationships with. I was invited for cruises and helicopter rides gratis in the hopes that I would influence visitors to our resorts when it came time for them to choose fun things to do on Maui.

I realized after a short time of meeting people in the course of my work that I really didn’t enjoy most of them that much. There we were on Maui, one of the most naturally breathtaking and relaxation inducing islands in the world and these people were like amped up real estate agents. They were there on Maui to make cash and climb the corporate ladder in whatever organization they belonged to. There were attempts by some to be manipulative and domineering… there was backstabbing by some. In general I found it be a very strange experience. I thought I was going to be surrounded by ‘real people’ that genuinely cared about each other and were wrapped up in living an awesome lifestyle on Maui. What I found was quite a different reality, one that sucked quite frankly.

The sales director had asked me to create an online marketing plan so they could get an idea what needed done in order to remain competitive in their market online. I focused more on that - on the numbers, on the possibilities and I really enjoyed that. I realized - I’m NOT a Marketing Manager at a resort management firm - it’s just not me. I’m a geek on the computer - that’s what I love. That’s what I do best. I manipulate pluses and minuses, Google Search and sales flow… not people. I don’t have an interest in people games. I am too genuine a person to play games in my own personal life and I’d never think of doing it and getting paid for it either. It just isn’t enjoyable. My life has been focused on the “enjoyable” for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t going to change with this plush position.

I created the plan and gave it to the sales director. Her face dropped as she read through it. After review by the three owners of the company she told me that it was quite an extensive plan that they would get started on - but that there was no way they would be spending anything close to the $150,000 USD on internet marketing I recommended for the coming year. I explained that this was the minimum they needed to begin to make back some ground the competitors were already running all over. I tried to get them to understand the urgency of it - and they couldn’t grasp the concept. I quickly handed in my resignation. This was only a couple months after joining them.

I must be successful if I’m staying in a job. Especially a job I don’t really care for. How can I stay and pretend to be marketing manager if the company doesn’t believe in the reality of their online situation? I need to shine like a supernova - not a star in the Little Dipper. They weren’t taking online marketing seriously and to me it was everything.

It was good that at that same time I realized I wasn’t cut out for a job that involved serious networking with people I didn’t like while working as an employee.

I’ve never particularly enjoyed it while working for myself either but recently it’s taken a new turn.

When I arrived in Thailand I thought I’d find lots of go-getters from countries all over the world looking to make their mark in a place that afforded them a lot of free time to do as they wished. That was me anyway. I was looking forward to relaxing for a year, erasing decades of stress, and then getting started in earnest on the focus of the rest of my life - writing online.

What I found here in Thailand was a lot of people that also came to relax and erase the stress of living back in their home countries. They wanted to really relax. And relax. And take it easy. Relax some more. Have a beer. Smoke some pot. Relax a bit. Take it easy some more…

There are not that many motivated people or people concerned about their own personal development in this country at all - least of all the Thais! I think most expats living in Thailand consider it a life-long Spring Break. They’re living a never-ending party that their $1200-3000 checks every month afford them. You can live like royalty on $1200 per month in Thailand. You can have a car, house, and drink every night and watch soccer on TV. You can eat out at restaurants everyday - enjoying some of the most amazing Thai food you’ve ever had! If you’re sixty years old you can have a 20 year old girlfriend - it’s become the norm here. One never really gets comfortable seeing it this way. It’s almost like Walt Disney World for old men.

In almost four years here I’ve met a small group of expats and visitors I’d consider friends. I’ve met about four people I’d consider motivated to achieve something more in their lives.

I realized that I needed to start networking with other people online or I was going to be resource bankrupt by the time I got back to the USA. I’d not kept in touch with many people I formerly had business or professional relationships with. I could name 100 people right now that I should have stayed in contact with at least a few times a year.

Enter Facebook.com. Originally I thought it was a dating site and ignored it. Then I got a request from a male friend to join it. I thought - hmm… OK, maybe it’s not a dating site. I joined. I was overwhelmed with the nonsensical outlay of it all. What to do with it? I think it’s pretty unintuitive - and only recently have I found out how to add photos that didn’t change my avatar to whatever photo I uploaded.

Now I’ve been on there for maybe 6 months. Only recently have I really started to take a look at what I can do with it. I’ve found some old friends and contacts. There’s a lot more people to contact, but I’m actually enjoying finding these people that used to be close friends - even family. It’s amazing to me that finally we’ve reached a place in the online development of things where we can add friends and business contacts to a group online and it’s not a business environment at all. It’s friendly.

If you’re one of my Facebook.com friends you’ll see that I share blog posts from Aim for Awesome on there regularly. I’ve already had comments from friends about videos and articles I’ve posted. My mom even found one of my posts and wrote a very long comment about her own experience with life that I’d never have known had I not written about it on AfA.

At least once a week I’m blown away by a friend request from someone I haven’t heard from in decades. Recently it was a girl I met in Hawaii when I was 19! Wow, she remembered my last name? Unbelievable. Then there are the photos that are easily shared. Facebook updates your own page when one of your friends updates with photos or writes on their own wall - like a status update. I’m constantly reminded that my friend is there and living life like I am here. I learn new things about them as I sign in and see what they’re up to. It’s non-intrusive because you could choose to cancel notices if you wanted - but what for? Might as well see what everyone is up to.

So - why do you need this?

The other day I found a friend on Facebook - I had sold him a couple online businesses years before and I was just trying to add him to my friends group.

We’ve been talking through email and as it turns out he really needs a lot of help to get one of the sites back up in Google. He tried some other companies for SEO and found success for a while but realized another major effort was needed.

I haven’t done much optimization for other people over the last year because I choose who I do it for now. I only really do it for past clients and friends that I want to help. If you get to know me as a friend and need something in this area - I will probably offer to do it for you. Maybe. Lol.

If I wasn’t available to do something for my friend I know other people that could do it for him that I trust - that I could refer him to.

Networking is a MUST because of this one idea… you need to TRUST someone to do important things for you - whenever possible. Use someone that you know or that knows someone that they trust to do something for you.

In a business you need to do MANY things. Those things that you do with others that you trust are no-brainers. They don’t stress you out and you can leave them go with the person you trust and the piece of the puzzle gets done correctly and you don’t give 2 thoughts to it.

It’s the pieces of the puzzle you leave to people you don’t know (or trust) that cause the most brain aneurysms, anxiety and lead to the most problems.

What if you knew personally every person you needed to know to be a success at your business?

That’s the power of networking. Even if you only know 75% of the people you need to accomplish pieces of the puzzle that make your business enterprise work. Grow. Thrive. Those 75% probably know the other 25% you need and can refer you to them.

Networks of good people that know each other and that wouldn’t think of using dishonest tactics in a business or personal transaction is the ultimate!

If you started writing out all the people you know, you could come up with 100 people. I KNOW you could. Think about it…  You could come up with 100 people probably as a minimum from your high school graduation class. You could probably come up with another 10 that lived on your street. From there you could come up with another 30 you’ve worked with. 10 you’ve dated. 10 relatives.

That’s 160 people minimum you probably know and can try to find in Facebook or other social networking platform. Facebook is kind of like the MySpace for adults. There are other sites coming out almost weekly… I tried LinkedIn - but I don’t enjoy it nearly as much because it seems to be all business… I do business with friends. I want to know - what their kids are doing, what they look like, what their hobbies are - where they’ve traveled. Facebook gives me all that.

Networking need not be a chore. As I said, I do networking online only a few places and never really in person here in Thailand in person because it’s tough to meet like-minded people. Online can be where you do all your networking. Start with Facebook and see who you’re able to re-establish ties with. You may find friends of friends that can do pieces of the puzzle for you. You might find strangers and then realize you’re connected by one friend in common - you write that friend and get an assessment of the person. “Could I trust Joe Schmo with a $15,000 SEO campaign? No? Ok, thanks a lot I appreciate it.” This thanks was worth $15,000.

Networking need not be work and it need not be uninteresting. You need not put yourself in places you don’t want to be. There is a critical mass of people online - your friends are there. If they’re not - they probably can’t do anything for your business, your aspirations. Not that they aren’t worth having as friends - but I’m just saying…. Those that can help are out there somewhere online - they can help and you can help some of them too. USE YOUR FRIENDS. Your network IS your group of friends. Use your friends to make more friends you trust. There’s no better way to do business than with people you trust.

Look at the alternative… Going to a company that does SEO or whatever, cold - without them knowing you or you knowing them. They use black hat SEO techniques, charge you a lot of money and you’re happy for a few months until Google penalizes your site and you lose more than you gained. You also lose what you paid the strangers to optimize your site.

Don’t do business with companies. Do business with people that know you and that have a vested interest in keeping you happy.

Give your money repeatedly to those that care what’s happening with that money. Don’t trust strangers to do the right thing…

:)

Best of Life!

Vern

As I get into my forties sometimes I find reality confronting me about something. I’m not on top of the world like I thought I might be by 30. I haven’t made it by 40 either. I had this idea since high school that by thirty I’d be wildly successful and on top of the world - the world at my feet so to speak. Maybe you had that idea too? Seems fairly common!

While it’s true I’ve had a hell of an amazing life so far and had plenty of success at things I’ve done - plenty of failure too, I’m not where I thought I’d be back then.

Dont’ misunderstand… I’m quite happy where I am right now. Quite comfortable with how little I have and want. I literally don’t want anything else but what I have now… but still comes this question out of the recesses of my twisting blob of cerebellum.

What can I do for the world?

While Bill Gates created Windows and Microsoft that wasn’t near his greatest feat. I count giving away billions of dollars to humanitarian causes as much more important. Nothing is more disgusting than those with uber-cash keeping for themselves or using it in nefarious ways to make more uber-cash. That’s gotta be wrong. Doesn’t it?

People are decoding the human genome. I read recently about a guy that was no kind of student in high school and college… served in the Vietnam war… and then went back to college in his 30’s or 40’s. He’s now one of the top genetic researchers on the planet.

What happened?

A: He ran with the ball.

Am I going to run with the ball and contribute to a few million people’s lives? BILLIONS of lives? I have that deep drive to do so… but I haven’t really given myself the challenge. It’s been there… hovering around back there - occasionally popping into the conscious. But, I never really LOOKED at the question before.

I want to look at it now for myself. I want to ask myself all the questions that need asked about this. I’m intrigued by it. My curiosity is running willy-nilly (as mom used to say).

There are some ultra-smart people reading this blog. People that have godlike IQ’s, straight A degrees at Harvard, Yale, MIT, and 100 other awesome schools.

There are those of you with drive and ambition that put you in the top 1% on the planet of people with such traits.

Some of you have ten hours a day to do whatever you choose. I fall in this category. I’ve chosen to write, produce videos, books, e-books and help people online with whatever they need done.

Are we all living up to our potential?

Why not ask yourself the BIG question - What can I do for the whole world?

I challenge all of you reading this blog to face this bigger than life question.

Yesterday when I began thinking about this topic in earnest I asked myself another question that seemed natural…

“What was the best idea you ever had?”

What the #*$@!!?

The lights flickered when I asked myself that question. I’m an idea machine. I think you could pit me against a think-tank of 5 people and give us a topic to brainstorm ideas about over one hour and I would come up with more. Not at all joking. For some reason I’m able to look at a question from many angles and come up with ideas about it - possible solutions, outcomes, challenges.

I wrote here before that I’m a big picture kind of person. That is true… and the main reason is that I can think of a huge variety of material related to a question, a project, or a hypothetical. I haven’t always been like this - early on in my teens and early twenties I couldn’t put together a line of thought to save my life. Attention Deficit Disorder ruled my life at that time. From mid-twenties on I’ve been able to churn out ideas by the hundreds whenever I choose.

So - I began going through ideas I could remember. Mostly that included the ones that left an impression on me or that I wrote down in some of my journal entries. The rest have been lost as the neural network couldn’t possibly store them all.

I opened Excel and started on a list of past ideas… Of course just this exercise prompted new ideas so I had to make another column for new ideas…

I got to 87 ideas I’ve remembered from the past and thought - it must be here already. If it was really the best idea I’d have remembered it and put it in the first 87 I thought of. Wouldn’t I?

Not necessarily.

I kept thinking… I got to 130 and stopped again. I looked back at the last 43 I’d written after I almost stopped and realized there were some damn good ideas in that group.

When should I stop?

I decided I’d make it a few day exercise and call it a game on Sunday (tomorrow).

I’ll go back to it after I write this post because I’ve already remembered a couple things I don’t think I’ve added to the list yet.

As I look over the list there are a lot of ideas that wouldn’t make a bit of difference to the whole world. There are ideas for video games. I’ve drawn maps and planned in detail a really fun video game for smart people that I thought at one time would be a blast to do, but never did. I have viral e-card ideas. I have book ideas. Movie ideas. Movie scripts outlined. I’ve had negative ideas about creating sites that today I’d never go forward with. Back then it was anything goes. I’ve mellowed quite a bit. I’ve embraced a real karma type outlook with life recently. Not that I believe in the idea of getting something back, but just DOING the right thing seems to be a great idea that I can’t make myself go against if I wanted to. It’s like a new morality - maybe it started about 7 years ago. In the present it’s really taken hold and it’s a great feeling.

Maybe it was some of the impetus behind the question…

What can I do for the world?

There must be something. I’m fairly intelligent. I have time. If I don’t find the idea among those I’ve already had then surely I can think of one. I must be able to think of something. It should be as big an idea as possible.

You should take yourself through this process too.

Why be average?
Why be great just in your own little world?

I’ve always been happy with what I’ve achieved… not really satisfied, but you know… I’ve only been looking at being the best in my little niche of the world.

There’s a HUGE world out there that is struggling with many problems that perhaps I could contribute some solution or work toward solving. Maybe I have something inside I can share and help a huge group of people. Maybe mankind. I’d never know unless I asked myself the question and got moving toward making it a reality.

Some people KNOW they need to ask themselves that question. You might know someone like that. Some people just fall into it, challenging themselves to be great in their small world which leads to greatness for the entire world.

I think every person reading this blog has it within them to do something that affects the entire world in a positive way.

What is it?

Best of Life!

Vern

Update: Recently Google has announced a contest where they’ll accept entries with ideas that will change the world to help the most people. Awesome huh? Here is my new post about it: How Can I Change the World?

The problem with competitive sports…

As you get into your thirties and forties you might reach a point like I did where you realize that competition is stressing you out more than it’s enriching your life. What I mean is…

When I was in my twenties I did a lot of running races, bicycle racing and some biathlons and triathlons. I did pretty well considering I was studying full time at the university and doing practicums and working part to full time during those years. I would typically come in the top group of amateur finishers. On occasion I’d get 1st or 2nd in my age-group which was nice. I considered trying to make the transition into full-time triathlete but I really didn’t have the resources in place to do it. I really wanted to finish my degrees as I thought they were the most important thing to accomplish in my life. If you ask me now, were they? I’d have to say, no - there were many other things I could have done instead. Such is hindsight.

During my twenties I played competitive racquetball, tennis, basketball, volleyball, ran, swam, and biked. I enjoyed some success and competition was always fun to me. I’d not win everything - my younger brother would delight in telling you that. He’d destroy me in tennis and to help me get through a match he’d let me get a few points here and there. How sick is that for a brother to do?

I’ve always felt the need to punish myself during exercise. While running or biking for instance, if I had the smallest, flitting thought that it might be difficult to run up the hill in front of me instead of go the other way around it - I’d make myself run up it, and fast too. I always force myself to do what the mind doesn’t want to do. I enjoy that for some twisted reason - forcing the body to do what the mind doesn’t want to do.

During competition it’s easy to push yourself because there are others you can measure yourself against and set goals during the race to beat them. Competition drives us to excel from outside ourselves.

When I got into my thirties I ran less. Biked less. I competed much less. When I did compete I’d notice that occasionally there was a teenager blowing by me on the run. Perhaps a woman that passed me during the first couple miles of a run. Sometimes it was an older guy. Sure, these people were in amazing shape and had worked their ass off to get there. But in my mind I had no right competing at all if I was going to be bested by teens, ladies and old men. It just wasn’t my idea of competition. Instead of feeling good about a race I started to think - what’s the point? I could run 6 miles anywhere I chose - why do it here in front of all these people that could see a 14 year old run faster over 6 miles than me?

So began a foray into the non-competitive sports. I took up mountain biking instead of road racing. I ran through the woods instead of at the track or at races or with groups of people. I began hiking up some of the more difficult ridge hikes on Oahu. I didn’t crave competition as much - except in beach volleyball where I persisted for a number of years before finally dropping out of the competitive two on two tournaments and settling for pick-up games of 6 players at the beach with anyone that wanted to play. Volleyball became a way to pass the time, recreation instead of a serious competition. Running, cycling, swimming, all sports became the same thing - recreation.

The thing about competition is, there’s always a loser. Frequently there are two losers. For me, it wasn’t just about being able to beat someone in a game or a race, it was as much about being able to pull out the absolute peak performance from me while doing it. If I raced badly and still won - what was I going to celebrate? Beating a bunch of people that couldn’t beat me on a bad day? If I played racquetball 70% great and 30% slop and beat my opponent (friend), then I may feel good, I may not. In my mind the 30% slop would haunt me because I’d know I needed to eliminate that part of my game in order to be a perfect player.

Competition while you’re very young - under 30 seems like a good thing. At least the losing doesn’t bother you much when it happens.

After virtually stopping competitive activities there was always this nagging need inside to punish my body with strenuous effort. Since I wasn’t competing with anyone else I competed with myself. I made myself the ultimate opponent.

Competition in later years is best done with yourself. Against the clock and against your mind. Why? You’re always a winner.

The exercise I do now is mostly walking and running up some steps. I don’t do it against a group of people, but recently the few guys I know that go up often started comparing times. I got sucked in. The top guy, Sven, a 32 year old from Switzerland was getting to the top in 12:15. I seemed to be stuck at 12:30. Another friend, Jim (49 yrs?) from England was at 14:30 and Joe from England, 31 years old was at 13:30. It took me a few tries, but finally I beat Sven at the time of 12:01. It damn near killed me too!

Out of the blue I get an email from my French friend, Charles. He claims he has a friend from France here in Thailand on vacation in his early 30’s that’s doing it in 10:45. I was amazed. I’d been up and down that mountain 280 times as of yesterday, and I can’t see how I could possibly take another second off my time. I demanded to see photos of the guy. Charles sent back photos of the new champion - a 30 year old that weighed about 50Kg (122lbs) in a racing singlet. I felt better about losing the championship status to someone that was 40+ pounds lighter than me, but still it hurt. Competition hurts.

For a few minutes after hearing about the new record I thought the time was impossible. Then I accepted it. Then I resigned to beat that time. Then I came back to reality. How was I going to shave 75 seconds off my time? Lose 40 pounds? Nah. I decided to counter this recent threat by creating new categories for the competition.

Categories:

• Best time from each country.
• Best time for age groups
• Best time wearing a backpack with 10 lbs (I usually have my computer, camera and other equipment with me)
• Best time up AND down
• Best time up and down and up and down (twice).
• Best time up and down thrice.
• Best time up during a rainstorm.
• Best time up before 11 am (hottest time, most sun directly on steps).
• Best time by weight class. Super flyweight 120lbs and less. Thin folks 121-160lbs. Normal folks 161-181. Large folks 182-202. Clydesdales, 203+.

See - now I’m a winner any of nine ways.

Competition as a loser generally sucks, even for a winner it’s often not all that great an experience. As much as you want to say, “It wasn’t the game, it was the playing that I enjoyed….” It’s much more fun over time NOT to compete and just push yourself to be all you can be. At least for me it’s becoming that way as I head toward mid-forties. More about how I push myself while exercising coming soon.

Best of Life!

Vern

I frequently get asked a question by new friends and old friends once they realize it.

“Why don’t you wear any jewelry or even a watch?”

I’ve got this idea in my head that jewelry, watches, hair, clothes and tattoos don’t add anything to “me” that I want added to me. Like shaving my head… hair adds a dimension I don’t need to deal with. Nothing positive comes out of having a head of hair. It pulls my attention toward something that doesn’t make a bit of difference in my life - strands of shiny protein growing like wild weeds on my head. Could I keep them tamed down enough to fit into American society? Sure I could. But, is there a point to that?

As I mentioned in a previous article, “Cheating on Your Spouse? Consider this…” one of the major cravings in life is sex. If you look good to others in society you’re going to have a hell of a time ignoring this subject while you’re married. It’s essential to ignore it while you’re married though. If you’re devastatingly good looking like a Brad Pitt - having looks, cash and free time you’re doomed. Cutting off the hair on your head - as a man or woman is a great start. People will treat you differently - more objectively. Not based on your looks. The rest of my appearance sort of adheres to that same idea. There’s no need to impress anyone with what I’m wearing.

Shaving my head and not having jewelry is not a reaction to society. I’m not rebelling. Years ago I looked at the watch I had on my wrist and wondered why it was there. What is it doing for me? Aren’t I surrounded by clocks? There was a clock in my car, in my office, at various points all over the company I worked at. There was a clock in my phone and on my notebook and desktop computers. There was a clock on everyone elses wrist. Why did I need one? Though my watch was a gift - I put it in a drawer and haven’t put it on since.

Wearing necklaces stopped as I entered the Air Force years ago - I’d lost many over the years and always replaced them. The last one I lost at 18 years old and never replaced it.

Bracelets - I’ve never worn a bracelet until recently here in Thailand. Let me explain… as part of going to the temple there are these Buddhist nuns that sit inside the temple and wait for foreigners to come in so they can put these braided brown bracelets on their wrist and get them to sign the guest book. Now - I don’t care personally about wearing one of these, but on the other hand - when someone wants to put it on me because it means something to them - I don’t want to be rude by refusing. Thais’ have this concept of ‘face’ that’s hard for westerners to understand but I’ve got a pretty good handle on it now. To refuse anything offered causes the other person to lose face.

So - I keep the bracelet on as long as it remains a neither positive or negative consequence. It’s when it starts to smell that I take it off.

I don’t wear a ring - even when I am married. To me the idea of putting a ring on as a symbol of marriage is simply ridiculous. The symbol of my marriage is what I do with my wife every day. How I treat her. How I show her that I love her. The ring is an external symbol to others that I can afford a gold ring and a diamond and gold ring for my wife. It’s also a comment on my relationship status which is not anyone’s business but mine. Some women pay more attention to guys with wedding rings. Why is that? I don’t need that kind of woman around me when I’m married. When I’m single - hell yes. But I’m not going to wear a wedding ring when I’m single either. When married - no point. I don’t get wedding rings. I don’t wear them.

I haven’t needed glasses so far - so that’s a non-issue. I’m not sure if I’d choose to wear glasses or contacts. The choice would be made entirely on what felt best and made the most sense… do contacts feel good? Is the experinece better than glasses? If yes, I’d wear them. If I couldn’t get used to the routine of sticking them in my eyes everyday and if I often lost them in my eye-socket I’d wear glasses. Would I wear some cool style of glasses that cost me $300+. Nah. My glasses would be the most basic glasses that exist. If I could find frames for $15, I’d buy those.

My clothes are unremarkable. I’m lucky enough to live where I don’t need a lot of clothes. I’ve got 3 pair of shorts and about 9 shirts. My shoes are sport sandals - almost 3 years old. They don’t smell and they’re very comfortable. Nobody would call them fashionable by any stretch, but they are “Nike” brand. I do a lot physically and Nike sport sandals have served me very well for 8 years, I’ll buy another pair when these wear out. Not because they’re Nikes, but because they are built very well and so far have taken the torture of climbing up and down more than 692,000 steps at a local mountain temple over the past 10 months. That’s a tough shoe!

I’ve one pair of pants and some thin nylon sweatpants.

The nicest shirt I have cost $9 USD at the store, new. Most of my clothes are used as I can buy them for $2-3. You might think it’s easy to dress down living in Thailand and blogging for a living. It is. However, if I moved back to the USA - to Hawaii most likely, I wouldn’t change what I wore with the exception of probably needing to buy some pants to keep up with the company dress code. As much as I’d like to continue blogging as my only income maker - in Hawaii I’d need to get another job as well. In the states I think it’d be easy to get by on $15 jeans or other cotton casual dress pants and a $10 shirt.

My choice of clothes is somewhat of a reaction to society and the crazy ideal that people in business try to adhere to. There was a time when I bought expensive pants, shirts and shoes. Why? I thought I had to fit in. I was in management at a resort firm in Hawaii. I was the marketing manager. I thought I had to dress with $100+ silk aloha shirts and Polo pants everyday. I spent a hell of a lot on clothes. When I think back to that time - I ask myself - who was I impressing? Other people at my job? Those that I saw at our hotels and timeshares everyday? What would have happened if I didn’t dress like that? Nothing. It was in my mind. Probably it’s in your mind too.

I don’t have tattoos or piercings. I don’t want anyone to look at me because I have a design on my arm that is similar to hundreds of others people have already seen. The nicest tattoo I’ve ever seen was on my friend Justin, a teacher from Canada (see pic). It was amazing, great color - really great picture. The thing is - I don’t believe our skin was made for pictures. As good as it was I’ll bet I could find 1000 pieces of artwork of the same scene that I like better than the image on his arm. I just don’t ‘get’ tattoos. I don’t understand. I don’t believe I’d have more self-esteem with a tattoo. Probably I’d feel less - like I was silly enough to get a picture on my arm like everyone else because I’m not confident enough in myself to go against what my friends are doing.

I think there are so few people in this world that are following their own ideas. We want to do what others in a subculture are doing because it makes us feel like we’re rebelling against mainstream society. It’s also to become accepted in the new subculture. We want to go against the grain - but just a little bit. Rarely does someone want to really rebel against society. If he did he might pierce part of a metal door through the skin of his scalp and carry around the door all day. You don’t see that too often. You don’t see someone tattoo polka dots the size of a quarter all over their body either. Or stars. Snowflakes. That’d be different. Why doesn’t anyone do that?

So, for me - I think that the less someone is looking at my clothes, my jewelry, and my tattoos - the better. I’m more interesting than that. I’m more approachable than someone looking like a magazine ad for Polo. Interact with ME, not what I’m wearing. Not what you see. Interact with what’s in my head -not on the outside of my head.

So, that’s why I don’t wear jewelry… and a lot more!

Best of Life!

Vern