I’ve come to what I think is a conclusion now about the meaning of life. In the previous article I talked about the meaning of life for the individual. Often times we come to our own conclusion about the meaning of life for us personally.

Whatever you come up with for your own life I want you to consider adding this one too…

The ultimate shared meaning of life for everyone on the planet is:

Helping others get through their lives a little bit easier.

That’s it.

That’s the whole meaning of life for mankind as a whole.

If you think about it - that’s what everything, every clue about the meaning of life is pointing toward…

Helping others get through life just a little easier than they would have without the help.

Life is full of suck for all of us. There’s a lot to deal with. Some have it easier than others, sure. But, in the end if you really took a realistic look at your life you’d see that your life is FILLED with pain.

The alarm clock rings in the morning. You know you should get up. The way society is in America, you must get up. If you don’t get up you must lie to your employer about why you didn’t make it to work that day. Do that a couple of times and you’ve lost your job and caused more problems than the pain that existed pulling yourself up out of bed.

From the time you wake up until the time you sleep you have things that you ‘need’ to do to keep participating in the society you live in. Most of these things are not what you would choose to be doing in an ideal life. If your life were ideal you would choose what to do with each part of your day. Few of us have that freedom.

Not all that many of us will take an objective look at their own life and see all that sucks about it. If we did - we’d ask ourselves - WHY are we going through life like this? Am I not SMARTER than this? Why do I owe 9-12 hours of my 16 hours awake to someone or some company I could care less about?

Life as is it in these United States, sucks basically.

There are those of us that can deal with it everyday. We might blow off steam once a year or once in three years. That’s all we need. There are those that can’t make it through each day without major drama.

Is it their fault? How long could you go being so poor you couldn’t buy clothes detergent to hand wash your clothes? How many times could you listen to your kids asking you what’s to eat for lunch when you know they’re going to have to make it through without lunch until they get some bread and peanut butter for dinner?

Me? Not too many times.

There are people in the USA like this. There are people in the world like this. There are HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of people in the world like this. In your town you might know someone like this. You may have had a problem with them in the past or you may know poor children that are in class with your children.

You might have been cut off while driving by someone that has just had enough of life’s stressors and can’t take anymore.

Here in Thailand the majority of people are doing OK on what little they have. They wake up and go to work like you do. They have families that need fed and they work 8-12 hours like you do. Overall most in Thailand are doing well enough to survive and thrive. At the end of the month after expenses they might have an average of $18 to spend on non-necessities. Most of them are OK with that. That’s what most people have. It’s the norm for Thai society. In American dollars that might equate to almost $100 USD.

Others, and there are thousands upon thousands in this country of 65 million, don’t have the education or the physical health to work as much as they need to in order to provide for their families. In the USA we tend to see poverty as something people can get out of if they just pulled themselves together. It’s their fault.

Pulling themselves together is the impossible part of that for most of them. For you and I, sure, we understand there are good times and bad and we roll with them. We tell ourselves there is more good than bad. But, what about those that tell themselves there is so much more bad than good? They’re impoverished and living in your town and every other town across America.

In Thailand there’s an understanding that older people have worked enough and the children are usually working to support them as they move into adulthood and get jobs. There is also an understanding that there are quite a few people that didn’t get a good education - maybe NO education. Thai society, individuals really, take it upon themselves to help those that are too poor to take care of daily needs like food and a place to sleep.

Even so, Thailand is caught up in an era where many are starting to be able to make a little more money. There are Thais driving Mercedes Benzs that cost $100K dollars. There are Land Rovers, Lexus SUV’s, Toyota Landcruisers, BMW SUVs, and all kinds of European supercars driven by the rich. Some Thais have it all. Imagine making $40,000 usd per year and being able to afford a Mercedes, a Lexus RV and a $100,000 home. They’re doing it in Thailand. The cost of living here is cheaper than the USA - much cheaper. But, it’s not free.

Every Thai adult still needs $100 per month for even the most basic necessities in the smallest of villages to survive.

Not every adult gets that here. There are those that work construction for 10 hours a day every day of the week and they receive 2,000 baht (66 dollars) a month for their labor. They sweat outside under Thailand’s blazing sun and in the unbearable humidity every single day building homes for rich Thais just to be able to survive.

All around the world are people that are having a tough time of life. Some more than others.

For myself… life isn’t that difficult. I feel like a winner in the game of life. I know that because I’ve continually pulled myself out of holes and accomplished whatever was necessary to get back to “good times”. I have that confidence about myself. I have the skills, the education, and the unsinkable attitude. I have a well rounded view of reality… Life sucks sometimes, and other times I’m doing everything I can to keep the suck in the background.

Are you like that? Most of you reading this article are. But, there are SO many people that aren’t.

I’ve been really thinking about this latest idea that life for each and every one of us is all about helping others get through their lives a little bit easier.

Some of us have it all. We laugh at others that tell us life sucks. We’ve got a house or houses, vacation home, boat, sports car, SUV, and every electronics toy that comes on the market. I’ve been there. It’s a great spot to be in. As I think back, it’s a selfish good feeling. Good yes, but it’s only being concerned with the self. That kind of good feeling doesn’t last very long.

Contrast your having it all with kids that are living in the projects that are shaking cockroaches out of their Corn Flakes box before they pour themselves a bowl to have with water (not milk).

Some of us are in a position to help. And, help a LOT. There are thousands of opportunities to help others that slip past us - often without us even noticing. I noticed that when I LOOK for ways to help I find some. I’ve been finding so many opportunities as I consciously go looking for them.

Helping others is the ultimate gratification in life. In a way it’s selfish too - because you’re actually making yourself feel really good. But, what better way to be selfish? It’s a win-win. We’re by nature, selfish beings. We seek to repeat experiences which make us feel good. We do that which makes us happy.

Try doing something for someone else. Try helping them do something, to accomplish something - however small, and see how you feel. I’ll bet it feels good. TRY it to feel it yourself and see how easy it is to get addicted to that feeling. I am seriously becoming addicted to it as I realize more each day that there’s nothing better for me to do with my life than help others.

What else can you do for yourself that makes you feel so good except giving something of yourself to others? Buy yourself a new iPhone? How long will that good feeling last? Until the next phone comes on the market. But really, not even that long.

Doing something for others that you didn’t need to do… weren’t obligated to do… maybe didn’t even have TIME to do… and that you did just because you wanted to help a fellow human being get through life a little bit easier is the coolest feeling in the entire realm of experience.

Find out for yourself - I challenge you.

Not only poor people need help. I’m not talking just about monetary help. Helping others can be ANYTHING that helps them get through life easier.

Can you make someone smile?

Can you give someone an alternative view that might get them unstuck from a downward spiral of negative thinking?

Can you offer some words of encouragement?

Can you share a story about your life that mirrored an experience someone you know is having and how you pulled yourself out of it?

Can you help someone get somewhere? Offer a lift to somewhere? Can you offer a smoke to someone? Can you offer 10 minutes to help someone do something? Can you teach someone a new skill with your free time that might help them take care of themselves better later on as they learn?

For myself I really enjoy doing things in secret… I like to give someone something without them knowing where it came from. That to me is a real rush… I’ll share something with you that I was keeping for myself but it will show you how easy it is to do something cool for others without them knowing about it.

I was at a local Buddhist temple and I walked into the convenience store to get something to drink. Two little girls came in after me - maybe 7 years old, both of them. They were in dirty shirt and shorts and their clothing was really simple. They were skinny as rails and they had 20 baht with them clenched tightly in one hand.

Some rubber springy balls almost like yo-yos but made entirely of grippy flourescent yellow and green rubber with tentacles caught their eyes as they came in - they both walked quickly to them. They talked excitedly about them and played with them before looking at the price. 20 baht each. They played a little more and then resigned themselves to looking all over the store for something they could afford for both of them.

I quickly chose a drink from the cooler and went to the cashier, a Buddhist nun  I’ve known for a year now… when the little girls were behind one of the rows of goods I grabbed two of the springy balls - a yellow one and a green one and paid for them. I gave them to the clerk and asked her to give them to the girls. She started to call the girls and I asked her to do it when I was gone. Secret. Kwam Lahp!- in Thai.

I walked away from the store and watched from a distance as they came out playing with the balls - so excited and looking for the foreigner which gave them their secret gifts.

The smiles and the excitement on their faces made me smile inside. For 40 baht, about $1.33 I was able to give them something fun to do for a few minutes… maybe an hour. Maybe they have brothers and sisters that will play with them too? Maybe they’ll tell their parents the story. Maybe their parents will have a better view of foreigners in their country. Maybe…

What could be better than helping others become a little bit happier? What could be better than making life a little bit easier for someone?

Is there anyone you know that you can help get through life a little bit easier today?

Your action need not be life changing. It need not be dramatic. You don’t have to give someone $100 to help. But, you might give $3. You might contribute to someone’s plugin you used to power your FireFox browser. You might offer to carry something for someone. You might offer a ride to someone or share a book you are finished with and that will sit on your bookshelf for 19 years before someone decides to throw it away or donate it to the library.

You might do…

A n y t h i n g.

Look for opportunities… they’re all around you if you look for them.

Future = money.

What will the next 10 to 100 years bring?

It’s hard to imagine that the state of technology will keep progressing exponentially over that time period. At least for me. I keep thinking we’re going to run up against some stumbling block - like not being able to make computers any faster than they are… but I’ve been wrong the last five years. According to Google employees Alfred Spector, VP Engineering, and Franz Och, Research Scientist I’ll continue to be wrong well into the future.

Of course it’s no secret that there are ungodly amounts of money fueling the technical revolution and it’s nowhere near slowing down.

As part of their 10 year anniversary celebration Google asked a group of 10 of their experts to write about the future. You can find these articles here in one long list:

10 Google Experts Predict Future of Internet & Technology

When taken altogether, it’s mindblowing what the future might look like.

Apparently they all think that the people of the world will keep steadily progressing toward sharing more and more information about themselves through the devices they own - never reaching some sort of saturation point. At least none was mentioned.

After I read the article I was left thinking that I hope the world doesn’t get like this. The virtual world - that conveyed by electronic and other means, will become a large part of reality. I hate television as it is. That’s too much unreality that’s getting shoved down everyone’s throats now. If the future actually turns out like these guys are predicting I think I’ll not own any electronic gadgets.

In fact, I think there will be a subgroup of people that start to resist and that does just that - refuses to be part of the virtual world because it’s killing real interactions between human beings by replacing them with virtual ones.

What fun is that? Apparently Google thinks big fun.

Big money in the future anyway, yes?

Networking with others is one of those things that most people have a hard time with. I’m one of them. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing while I’m networking.

What is networking? Why do I need it? Why should I go somewhere I don’t want to go to meet people I don’t want to meet?

With the exception of working with adults and teens with schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder and traumatic brain injury (TBI) for six years during undergrad and graduate study I wouldn’t consider myself a “people person” at the workplace. When I’m working I do it best alone, working on my projects… optimizing them so I get the highest number of visitors to the websites of those I”m working for - or for my own sites as half the time I am self-employed and have numerous websites and blogs going.

In 2002 I thought I wanted to make the transition from Internet Marketing Consultant, working on my own and doing short 2-6 month contracts with companies that needed help with their online efforts to “Marketing Manager” with a resort management company on the Island of Maui in Hawaii.

It seemed like a perfect match at first. I was well-versed in everything they needed to get cranking online and they had done virtually nothing over the years to keep up with other major resorts on Maui like Hilton and Sheraton. I knew I could help them a LOT. That was exciting for me because if I take a project on I want to be able to help a lot. To be a token player isn’t what gets me excited about going to work everyday, it’s all about how much success I can bring to the company with my efforts.

Part of the job involved meeting people in the community that my employer already had established relationships with. I was invited for cruises and helicopter rides gratis in the hopes that I would influence visitors to our resorts when it came time for them to choose fun things to do on Maui.

I realized after a short time of meeting people in the course of my work that I really didn’t enjoy most of them that much. There we were on Maui, one of the most naturally breathtaking and relaxation inducing islands in the world and these people were like amped up real estate agents. They were there on Maui to make cash and climb the corporate ladder in whatever organization they belonged to. There were attempts by some to be manipulative and domineering… there was backstabbing by some. In general I found it be a very strange experience. I thought I was going to be surrounded by ‘real people’ that genuinely cared about each other and were wrapped up in living an awesome lifestyle on Maui. What I found was quite a different reality, one that sucked quite frankly.

The sales director had asked me to create an online marketing plan so they could get an idea what needed done in order to remain competitive in their market online. I focused more on that - on the numbers, on the possibilities and I really enjoyed that. I realized - I’m NOT a Marketing Manager at a resort management firm - it’s just not me. I’m a geek on the computer - that’s what I love. That’s what I do best. I manipulate pluses and minuses, Google Search and sales flow… not people. I don’t have an interest in people games. I am too genuine a person to play games in my own personal life and I’d never think of doing it and getting paid for it either. It just isn’t enjoyable. My life has been focused on the “enjoyable” for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t going to change with this plush position.

I created the plan and gave it to the sales director. Her face dropped as she read through it. After review by the three owners of the company she told me that it was quite an extensive plan that they would get started on - but that there was no way they would be spending anything close to the $150,000 USD on internet marketing I recommended for the coming year. I explained that this was the minimum they needed to begin to make back some ground the competitors were already running all over. I tried to get them to understand the urgency of it - and they couldn’t grasp the concept. I quickly handed in my resignation. This was only a couple months after joining them.

I must be successful if I’m staying in a job. Especially a job I don’t really care for. How can I stay and pretend to be marketing manager if the company doesn’t believe in the reality of their online situation? I need to shine like a supernova - not a star in the Little Dipper. They weren’t taking online marketing seriously and to me it was everything.

It was good that at that same time I realized I wasn’t cut out for a job that involved serious networking with people I didn’t like while working as an employee.

I’ve never particularly enjoyed it while working for myself either but recently it’s taken a new turn.

When I arrived in Thailand I thought I’d find lots of go-getters from countries all over the world looking to make their mark in a place that afforded them a lot of free time to do as they wished. That was me anyway. I was looking forward to relaxing for a year, erasing decades of stress, and then getting started in earnest on the focus of the rest of my life - writing online.

What I found here in Thailand was a lot of people that also came to relax and erase the stress of living back in their home countries. They wanted to really relax. And relax. And take it easy. Relax some more. Have a beer. Smoke some pot. Relax a bit. Take it easy some more…

There are not that many motivated people or people concerned about their own personal development in this country at all - least of all the Thais! I think most expats living in Thailand consider it a life-long Spring Break. They’re living a never-ending party that their $1200-3000 checks every month afford them. You can live like royalty on $1200 per month in Thailand. You can have a car, house, and drink every night and watch soccer on TV. You can eat out at restaurants everyday - enjoying some of the most amazing Thai food you’ve ever had! If you’re sixty years old you can have a 20 year old girlfriend - it’s become the norm here. One never really gets comfortable seeing it this way. It’s almost like Walt Disney World for old men.

In almost four years here I’ve met a small group of expats and visitors I’d consider friends. I’ve met about four people I’d consider motivated to achieve something more in their lives.

I realized that I needed to start networking with other people online or I was going to be resource bankrupt by the time I got back to the USA. I’d not kept in touch with many people I formerly had business or professional relationships with. I could name 100 people right now that I should have stayed in contact with at least a few times a year.

Enter Facebook.com. Originally I thought it was a dating site and ignored it. Then I got a request from a male friend to join it. I thought - hmm… OK, maybe it’s not a dating site. I joined. I was overwhelmed with the nonsensical outlay of it all. What to do with it? I think it’s pretty unintuitive - and only recently have I found out how to add photos that didn’t change my avatar to whatever photo I uploaded.

Now I’ve been on there for maybe 6 months. Only recently have I really started to take a look at what I can do with it. I’ve found some old friends and contacts. There’s a lot more people to contact, but I’m actually enjoying finding these people that used to be close friends - even family. It’s amazing to me that finally we’ve reached a place in the online development of things where we can add friends and business contacts to a group online and it’s not a business environment at all. It’s friendly.

If you’re one of my Facebook.com friends you’ll see that I share blog posts from Aim for Awesome on there regularly. I’ve already had comments from friends about videos and articles I’ve posted. My mom even found one of my posts and wrote a very long comment about her own experience with life that I’d never have known had I not written about it on AfA.

At least once a week I’m blown away by a friend request from someone I haven’t heard from in decades. Recently it was a girl I met in Hawaii when I was 19! Wow, she remembered my last name? Unbelievable. Then there are the photos that are easily shared. Facebook updates your own page when one of your friends updates with photos or writes on their own wall - like a status update. I’m constantly reminded that my friend is there and living life like I am here. I learn new things about them as I sign in and see what they’re up to. It’s non-intrusive because you could choose to cancel notices if you wanted - but what for? Might as well see what everyone is up to.

So - why do you need this?

The other day I found a friend on Facebook - I had sold him a couple online businesses years before and I was just trying to add him to my friends group.

We’ve been talking through email and as it turns out he really needs a lot of help to get one of the sites back up in Google. He tried some other companies for SEO and found success for a while but realized another major effort was needed.

I haven’t done much optimization for other people over the last year because I choose who I do it for now. I only really do it for past clients and friends that I want to help. If you get to know me as a friend and need something in this area - I will probably offer to do it for you. Maybe. Lol.

If I wasn’t available to do something for my friend I know other people that could do it for him that I trust - that I could refer him to.

Networking is a MUST because of this one idea… you need to TRUST someone to do important things for you - whenever possible. Use someone that you know or that knows someone that they trust to do something for you.

In a business you need to do MANY things. Those things that you do with others that you trust are no-brainers. They don’t stress you out and you can leave them go with the person you trust and the piece of the puzzle gets done correctly and you don’t give 2 thoughts to it.

It’s the pieces of the puzzle you leave to people you don’t know (or trust) that cause the most brain aneurysms, anxiety and lead to the most problems.

What if you knew personally every person you needed to know to be a success at your business?

That’s the power of networking. Even if you only know 75% of the people you need to accomplish pieces of the puzzle that make your business enterprise work. Grow. Thrive. Those 75% probably know the other 25% you need and can refer you to them.

Networks of good people that know each other and that wouldn’t think of using dishonest tactics in a business or personal transaction is the ultimate!

If you started writing out all the people you know, you could come up with 100 people. I KNOW you could. Think about it…  You could come up with 100 people probably as a minimum from your high school graduation class. You could probably come up with another 10 that lived on your street. From there you could come up with another 30 you’ve worked with. 10 you’ve dated. 10 relatives.

That’s 160 people minimum you probably know and can try to find in Facebook or other social networking platform. Facebook is kind of like the MySpace for adults. There are other sites coming out almost weekly… I tried LinkedIn - but I don’t enjoy it nearly as much because it seems to be all business… I do business with friends. I want to know - what their kids are doing, what they look like, what their hobbies are - where they’ve traveled. Facebook gives me all that.

Networking need not be a chore. As I said, I do networking online only a few places and never really in person here in Thailand in person because it’s tough to meet like-minded people. Online can be where you do all your networking. Start with Facebook and see who you’re able to re-establish ties with. You may find friends of friends that can do pieces of the puzzle for you. You might find strangers and then realize you’re connected by one friend in common - you write that friend and get an assessment of the person. “Could I trust Joe Schmo with a $15,000 SEO campaign? No? Ok, thanks a lot I appreciate it.” This thanks was worth $15,000.

Networking need not be work and it need not be uninteresting. You need not put yourself in places you don’t want to be. There is a critical mass of people online - your friends are there. If they’re not - they probably can’t do anything for your business, your aspirations. Not that they aren’t worth having as friends - but I’m just saying…. Those that can help are out there somewhere online - they can help and you can help some of them too. USE YOUR FRIENDS. Your network IS your group of friends. Use your friends to make more friends you trust. There’s no better way to do business than with people you trust.

Look at the alternative… Going to a company that does SEO or whatever, cold - without them knowing you or you knowing them. They use black hat SEO techniques, charge you a lot of money and you’re happy for a few months until Google penalizes your site and you lose more than you gained. You also lose what you paid the strangers to optimize your site.

Don’t do business with companies. Do business with people that know you and that have a vested interest in keeping you happy.

Give your money repeatedly to those that care what’s happening with that money. Don’t trust strangers to do the right thing…

:)

Best of Life!

Vern

I frequently get asked a question by new friends and old friends once they realize it.

“Why don’t you wear any jewelry or even a watch?”

I’ve got this idea in my head that jewelry, watches, hair, clothes and tattoos don’t add anything to “me” that I want added to me. Like shaving my head… hair adds a dimension I don’t need to deal with. Nothing positive comes out of having a head of hair. It pulls my attention toward something that doesn’t make a bit of difference in my life - strands of shiny protein growing like wild weeds on my head. Could I keep them tamed down enough to fit into American society? Sure I could. But, is there a point to that?

As I mentioned in a previous article, “Cheating on Your Spouse? Consider this…” one of the major cravings in life is sex. If you look good to others in society you’re going to have a hell of a time ignoring this subject while you’re married. It’s essential to ignore it while you’re married though. If you’re devastatingly good looking like a Brad Pitt - having looks, cash and free time you’re doomed. Cutting off the hair on your head - as a man or woman is a great start. People will treat you differently - more objectively. Not based on your looks. The rest of my appearance sort of adheres to that same idea. There’s no need to impress anyone with what I’m wearing.

Shaving my head and not having jewelry is not a reaction to society. I’m not rebelling. Years ago I looked at the watch I had on my wrist and wondered why it was there. What is it doing for me? Aren’t I surrounded by clocks? There was a clock in my car, in my office, at various points all over the company I worked at. There was a clock in my phone and on my notebook and desktop computers. There was a clock on everyone elses wrist. Why did I need one? Though my watch was a gift - I put it in a drawer and haven’t put it on since.

Wearing necklaces stopped as I entered the Air Force years ago - I’d lost many over the years and always replaced them. The last one I lost at 18 years old and never replaced it.

Bracelets - I’ve never worn a bracelet until recently here in Thailand. Let me explain… as part of going to the temple there are these Buddhist nuns that sit inside the temple and wait for foreigners to come in so they can put these braided brown bracelets on their wrist and get them to sign the guest book. Now - I don’t care personally about wearing one of these, but on the other hand - when someone wants to put it on me because it means something to them - I don’t want to be rude by refusing. Thais’ have this concept of ‘face’ that’s hard for westerners to understand but I’ve got a pretty good handle on it now. To refuse anything offered causes the other person to lose face.

So - I keep the bracelet on as long as it remains a neither positive or negative consequence. It’s when it starts to smell that I take it off.

I don’t wear a ring - even when I am married. To me the idea of putting a ring on as a symbol of marriage is simply ridiculous. The symbol of my marriage is what I do with my wife every day. How I treat her. How I show her that I love her. The ring is an external symbol to others that I can afford a gold ring and a diamond and gold ring for my wife. It’s also a comment on my relationship status which is not anyone’s business but mine. Some women pay more attention to guys with wedding rings. Why is that? I don’t need that kind of woman around me when I’m married. When I’m single - hell yes. But I’m not going to wear a wedding ring when I’m single either. When married - no point. I don’t get wedding rings. I don’t wear them.

I haven’t needed glasses so far - so that’s a non-issue. I’m not sure if I’d choose to wear glasses or contacts. The choice would be made entirely on what felt best and made the most sense… do contacts feel good? Is the experinece better than glasses? If yes, I’d wear them. If I couldn’t get used to the routine of sticking them in my eyes everyday and if I often lost them in my eye-socket I’d wear glasses. Would I wear some cool style of glasses that cost me $300+. Nah. My glasses would be the most basic glasses that exist. If I could find frames for $15, I’d buy those.

My clothes are unremarkable. I’m lucky enough to live where I don’t need a lot of clothes. I’ve got 3 pair of shorts and about 9 shirts. My shoes are sport sandals - almost 3 years old. They don’t smell and they’re very comfortable. Nobody would call them fashionable by any stretch, but they are “Nike” brand. I do a lot physically and Nike sport sandals have served me very well for 8 years, I’ll buy another pair when these wear out. Not because they’re Nikes, but because they are built very well and so far have taken the torture of climbing up and down more than 692,000 steps at a local mountain temple over the past 10 months. That’s a tough shoe!

I’ve one pair of pants and some thin nylon sweatpants.

The nicest shirt I have cost $9 USD at the store, new. Most of my clothes are used as I can buy them for $2-3. You might think it’s easy to dress down living in Thailand and blogging for a living. It is. However, if I moved back to the USA - to Hawaii most likely, I wouldn’t change what I wore with the exception of probably needing to buy some pants to keep up with the company dress code. As much as I’d like to continue blogging as my only income maker - in Hawaii I’d need to get another job as well. In the states I think it’d be easy to get by on $15 jeans or other cotton casual dress pants and a $10 shirt.

My choice of clothes is somewhat of a reaction to society and the crazy ideal that people in business try to adhere to. There was a time when I bought expensive pants, shirts and shoes. Why? I thought I had to fit in. I was in management at a resort firm in Hawaii. I was the marketing manager. I thought I had to dress with $100+ silk aloha shirts and Polo pants everyday. I spent a hell of a lot on clothes. When I think back to that time - I ask myself - who was I impressing? Other people at my job? Those that I saw at our hotels and timeshares everyday? What would have happened if I didn’t dress like that? Nothing. It was in my mind. Probably it’s in your mind too.

I don’t have tattoos or piercings. I don’t want anyone to look at me because I have a design on my arm that is similar to hundreds of others people have already seen. The nicest tattoo I’ve ever seen was on my friend Justin, a teacher from Canada (see pic). It was amazing, great color - really great picture. The thing is - I don’t believe our skin was made for pictures. As good as it was I’ll bet I could find 1000 pieces of artwork of the same scene that I like better than the image on his arm. I just don’t ‘get’ tattoos. I don’t understand. I don’t believe I’d have more self-esteem with a tattoo. Probably I’d feel less - like I was silly enough to get a picture on my arm like everyone else because I’m not confident enough in myself to go against what my friends are doing.

I think there are so few people in this world that are following their own ideas. We want to do what others in a subculture are doing because it makes us feel like we’re rebelling against mainstream society. It’s also to become accepted in the new subculture. We want to go against the grain - but just a little bit. Rarely does someone want to really rebel against society. If he did he might pierce part of a metal door through the skin of his scalp and carry around the door all day. You don’t see that too often. You don’t see someone tattoo polka dots the size of a quarter all over their body either. Or stars. Snowflakes. That’d be different. Why doesn’t anyone do that?

So, for me - I think that the less someone is looking at my clothes, my jewelry, and my tattoos - the better. I’m more interesting than that. I’m more approachable than someone looking like a magazine ad for Polo. Interact with ME, not what I’m wearing. Not what you see. Interact with what’s in my head -not on the outside of my head.

So, that’s why I don’t wear jewelry… and a lot more!

Best of Life!

Vern