Teach My Son to Snorkel, He’s an Excellent Swimmer

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Found an ad in Craigslist that I found really funny. There’s a family coming to Hawaii for vacation. They want to hire someone to teach their 13 year old son to swim, snorkel, and lifeguard. The boy wants to be a lifeguard apparently.

Now, the parent writing that ad says the kid is an excellent swimmer.

So someone is going to teach him to swim better?

The pay is $25 per hour. References and interview required.

1-2 hours per day in the pool where the family will stay. Family will “help”.

Help what?

Over a 7 day period.

7-14 hours of instruction of what though? How long does it take someone to learn how to snorkel?

Here, spit in this mask, rub it smooth, put it on your head. Suck the snorkel like this. Fins go on your feet. Hold your breath when you go underwater. Blow out forcefully when you resurface – like a whale.

“Done, you can snorkel. What’s that? Only ten minutes passed? Ok, let’s swim around for an hour and fifty minutes. Ask me some questions.”

Parent says, “We can provide references too.”

References for WHAT? Their kid was never in juvenile facilities?

So basically, they’re going to pay $350 to some one that has no better job to do in Hawaii for 14 hours in the mornings to help their son do what he can already do excellently.

Are they hoping to find a lifeguard that wants to teach him how to do lifesaving? What if this guy is teaching mouth to mouth and has his hands all over your kid? That’s part of life-saving.

I just don’t have a good feeling about this.

Enroll the boy in a proper certification program.

Here is the actual ad ->

I’m not making this up.

Want to Move to Hawaii?

Photo credit: flickr.com user Joe Shlabotnik.


About the Author:

I’ve lived Hawaii since the mid ‘80s when I moved here at the age of 21. I arrived site-unseen in Honolulu with zero contacts and about $5k in savings. I worked from nearly zero and today Hawaii has given me the greatest gifts in the world in all aspects: spiritually, financially, romantically (married since early ‘90s w/ 2 children), and most important, peace. My goal with this site is to share the magic of this Land of Aloha and help others who are on a similar quest.


  1. Tori Cullns 09/26/2012 at 8:43 pm - Reply

    Shoots, wish I would’ve seen that ad… Funny, yes, but would’ve been happy to turn the kid on to snorkeling, AND Hawaii’s unique ocean life (outside of a hotel pool!). Would’ve done it at our normal charter rate (as we do for many of our guests), and been happy to throw in the lifeguard basics. Hope his family found some of the excellent lifeguard certifiers here and/or could’ve enrolled him in the JR. Lifeguard programs…

    Wild Side Specialty Tours

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