12 Reasons You Should NOT Move to Hawaii!

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12 Reasons You Should NOT Move to Hawaii! 2017-06-21T20:26:25+00:00

Here’s where I try to talk you out of paradise by telling you some major reasons you should not move to Hawaii. Typically, nearly everything I write about the islands is through a positive lens – I talk about the amazing, the awesome, the glowing aspects of living life in the Hawaiian Islands.


If you read fifty or so articles on our site, are you going to have an overly optimistic view of what life in Hawaii is all about and be surprised when you arrive and it isn’t like you expected?


12 Reasons You May NOT Want to Move to Hawaii

1. Locals Can Be An Unforgiving Lot! They can either make or break your day. There’s nothing like a group of locals ganging up on a visitor for something they did wrong. There’s no arguing, you just grin and bear it, try to make it right, and high-tail it out of there. It happens to everyone, sometimes at the beach in the line-up. Sometimes in traffic. Sometimes when you drink too much and act stupid. Hawaii’s locals will straighten you out in no-time. Is it really worth being the newbie in a place you know nothing about?

Fire dancer on island of Maui in Hawaii - just another reason why not to move to Hawaii.

See that flame? Tough as nails brah!

2. Someone Can Cuss You Out and You Won’t Understand a WORD! Since we’re on the topic of what happens when you do something that goes against the grain in the Islands, let’s talk about this. Somehow and through no fault of your own that you can figure, someone is in your face and cussing you out. Problem is, you can’t understand a word of Pidgin, so you may not even know what you did. What do you do? Better learn some Pidgin before you go to the islands brah! Studyem. But don’t usem!

3. The Flying KA KA ROACH! That evil quad-winged beast, and I’m not talking about drones flying up to your window to watch you puinsai either! Check this:

Hawaii cockroaches are common.

4. The 50-legged Scolopendra! Centipedes are not nearly as common as flying cockroaches in Hawaii, but if you get bitten by one – you’ll never forget it – promise! These nasty things come out at sunset while you’re sitting in the grass at the edge of the beach kissing your honey. Or, they drop from the trees like this story from Jack London. Either way, fear the foot-long centipedes in the island because there is nothing quite like them.

Large centipedes are all over Hawaii - up to a foot long.

5. Box Jellyfish, Wana, and SHARKS! The previous two were land-dwelling nasties. Now we’re talking about three of the nastiest marine-animals you’ll ever come across, and they’re all in Hawaii’s picture perfect Pacific Ocean! Box jellyfish, you have probably heard of. I’ve been stung by one on Maui and let me tell you, the pain was excruciating and constant for a couple of hours. Constant I said, as in no let-up in the pain. Not to mention my heart was racing and my mind was getting confused – even more than usual. I had a road-map scar on the inside of my thigh for about 5 years before it slowly went away. Nuts, right?

Wana (vah-nuh) are those prickly sea urchins sticking to the coral where you want to rest after snorkeling for an hour. Don’t put your foot down! The barbs break off in your foot and get infected. Eventually they dissolve. Here’s a post about Hawaii marine-life nasties.

Sharks! <- Here’s an entire article I wrote about sharks in Hawaii.

6. Amazon Prime Does Not Give 2-Day free Shipping to Hawaii! It’s 3-7 days. Many other places add a premium to shipping to Hawaii because it’s just so expensive to send items over here. Think twice about moving to paradise if you’re a daily online shopper!

7. Your Favorite Brands Are Nowhere to Be Found! This is why #6 above is so important. Not only can’t you find stuff you were used to back in the mainland, but you have to mail order it at extra expense to get it at all. No fun.

Should you move to Hawaii? Are you re-thinking it yet?

King mackerel fillets, Hawaii ocean fishing8. One Pound of Good Fish Goes For $20.00+ USD! Insane prices, especially on the good stuff. I remember going into a Maui fish market place, a little local place in Kahana and walking out with $80+ dollars in JUST FISH for one week! Is that insane? Sure it is, and you’ll be part of it too if you care about getting the good food!

Tourist in Aloha shirt drinking alcohol in Hawaii.9. You’ll Never Look as Good As a Local in Your Aloha Shirt! You just can’t brah. You can try dress yourself up, but you still look like you just arrived from LAX.

Resist the urge to run out and buy the first $2 shirt you see at the flea market! Watch what the locals are wearing, and then do your best.

10. Weed Is NOT Legal in Hawaii! You’d never know it by the sheer numbers of people getting their toke on, but really the wacky tobaccy is illegal in Hawaii unless you have a medical need for it – and prescription.

Besides, locals save all the good pot for themselves and overcharge you for the junk budz!

11. Monster-sized Rogue Waves Can Ruin Your Day!

Huge wave in Hawaii washes over sea wall.

12. Traffic is ABSOLUTE HORROSHOW! Motorcycles and bicycles all over the roads. Talk about a hazard! If you thought there were a lot of motorbikes or bicycles on the roads around your home now – wait until you move to Hawaii! Choke two-wheelz brah!

Cheerleader crossing the road? Nobody cares!

Kid jumps out of the stroller and runs into traffic? Nobody cares. Keep your head in traffic, whether you’re driving a vehicle or attempting to cross a street in Waikiki. Danger is lurking! This is probably the best reason why you should NOT MOVE TO HAWAII!

Hawaii traffic accident

So, what do you think? Are you STILL MOVING TO HAWAII?

Or are you skeered?? lol.

Book your trip anyway, it’s always an adventure!


Should you move to Hawaii? Find out and take the quiz.